This Is Me Trying
Bitch Bible
PodcastOne
4.6 • 14.8K Ratings
🗓️ 7 April 2026
⏱️ 65 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
Jackie has settled into spring and discusses proper parenting at wineries, gives a lukewarm review of Summer House, and tries to explain her alien frog infestation.
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | She has risen. |
| 0:16.6 | Hello everybody. Happy Easter. |
| 0:19.3 | Hug. Samaa. Happy Pesach. What a beautiful April day. Okay, I just found out it was April. I went to go, like, do the title episode. And I'm like, we're in fucking April already. Has spring sprung? Is it spring? I'm so not good with like seasons or just like years or like |
| 0:41.7 | lapses of time. I still see the year as like a school year, which is really sophomoric and |
| 0:49.2 | infantilized and damage. But here we are. It's April and spring is sprung. I'm feeling very springy today, |
| 0:57.9 | despite the fact that I just caught a glimpse of myself in the video footage and was like, |
| 1:02.7 | oh, wow, she's, she needs her hair done. The roots are giving Seamy Valley, and that's an insult, |
| 1:09.7 | everybody. I was talking to Morgan Stewart last week |
| 1:12.4 | and she was saying how she was, she just started a podcast and she was watching the video and she's like, |
| 1:18.7 | mind you, got full glam. She's like, the lighting is disgusting. Like, I can't even believe. Like, |
| 1:23.0 | I can't even watch the video. I said, ma'am, ma'am, ma'am, I would like you to review some of my |
| 1:28.3 | fucking footage where I looked like I crawled out of a methadone clinic, okay? The hair is not done, |
| 1:34.4 | not a stitch of makeup on, not a flex either, like not looking cute, no makeup makeup, |
| 1:39.8 | looking quite literally like I crawled out of the inland empire. It's not great, but we're trying. |
| 1:48.1 | This is me trying, as the great Taylor Swift said. What has happened in the last week? God, |
| 1:53.9 | so much and so little all at the same time. Last week, we went to this really amazing, like, so lovely. |
| 2:03.3 | I would never do something like this. |
| 2:04.8 | I'm not at the caliber to even suggest doing something like this. |
| 2:08.8 | But Nile Horan did a, like an intimate dinner party to celebrate his new album titled |
| 2:17.3 | Dinner Party that Handy Andy, |
| 2:19.3 | My Pool Man did. And basically they bust in to our friends backyard like 50 super fans, |
| 2:28.0 | okay, who were all like I was expecting to be like low key crazy like straight jacket vibes. |
... |
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