Why is it we become too nice with someone we like? There is an interesting switch,

isn't there, between, it's almost like a before and after. There's, there's the, and sometimes,

by the way, there's barely any before. Sometimes you've decided that from the moment

you see someone. You've, you know, you look at them across the room in a public setting.

They're a stranger who just walked into the place where you are having your lunch on your work break.

And it's not even a conscious thing. You don't think to yourself, I want this person.

You just immediately feel drawn to this person. And there is the fear and the nerves that go with

that. Because now you ask you, if you ask yourself, why do I feel so nervous about talking to this

person, about the idea of approaching this person person if I was even thinking of approaching this

person and it's because we've decided all in the space of a second we've decided they're

incredibly attractive and that we really want them now sometimes it takes longer sometimes

we can know someone for a little bit we can go on a couple of dates with them. And there's a moment where we tip over into, oh, I really like this person. Before, maybe I thought they were attractive. Maybe I thought they were cute. Maybe I thought they were even a little bit sexy or something. Or maybe I just thought they were attractive. Maybe I thought there was something they were cute. Maybe I thought they were even a little bit sexy or something, you know, or maybe I just thought they were

interesting. And that was enough to get me on a date with them. But somewhere along the way,

whether it was late in date one, whether it was on date three, or whether it was in the kind of phone calls that we were having

with someone in between. There's just a moment where someone says or does something. And it's been,

our liking them has maybe been building a little bit, but we haven't really noticed. And then all

of a sudden, there's a moment of

connection. There's a moment of the way someone thinks, or they could even be a little goofy

thing that they did, or something that just makes you go, oh, I really like them. And that is the

moment, typically, where we start changing the way that we behave around them.

And it's a subtle thing because it's like they became instantly, they became in the, between that before and after,

on that line, they became significantly more important to us.

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