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The Angry Therapist Podcast

Why Couples Repeat the SAME Argument (And How To Stop)

The Angry Therapist Podcast

John Kim

Health & Fitness, Mental Health

4.61.1K Ratings

🗓️ 19 November 2025

⏱️ 32 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Full Video Course HERE All modules, worksheets, and bonus sessions. This video compiles key moments from the second core module from our relationship course - "How to Fight Without Fighting" You'll learn: Why repair looks completely different for each partner How to ask for (and give) permission to reopen old conversations What to do when you still feel hurt but your partner has “moved on” The moment he realized he was wrong — and how that changed everything Why fights are often bids for connection, not battles How childhood patterns shape how we handle conflict as adults What healthy masculine containment looks like in emotional moments How to rebuild trust after a rupture What apology, accountability, and understanding truly require This episode is about the messy, human, honest side of relationships — and the courage it takes to repair in a way that actually heals. 🔗 Resources & Links 👉 Apply to Inner Compass Academy HERE 👉 Follow Vanessa on Instagram HERE 📘 Read John’s new book in progress Sh*t Your Therapist Would Never Tell You on John’s SubStack ⁠HERE⁠ Order John's new book, Break Up. On Purpose,⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Follow John on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Find out more about John⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0

To get better rates on mortgages, loans and credit cards,

0:03.3

you don't need to know the friend of a friend of the second cousin of a dog walker

0:07.6

who went to school with the adopted son of a reflexologist

0:10.5

who's currently plant sitting for the step-sister of a social media influencer

0:15.2

that lives next door to some guy who works in finance.

0:20.3

You just need a little help from Experian to improve your credit

0:24.2

score. Download the Experian app and check your credit score and report for free today.

0:29.8

Yeah, but it's not fair. Like, I feel like I'm doing all this work and it's always about him

0:33.8

and making sure his feelings about it, you know, and he's like, so do it for you.

0:38.1

You have to do this work for you too, right? If you feel like you're never seen, if you feel

0:43.8

like you're never being validated, that's because you're not giving them the opportunity to do it.

0:51.5

I'm John Kim, a licensed therapist who used to be a miserable fuck before going on a hero's journey and turning expired relationships into revelations.

0:59.9

I use my story to help others come with you instead of at you, unrehearsed on purpose, because self-help doesn't have to be polished or complicated.

1:09.6

Just honest. Can you talk about that in a concert since I guess as repair?

1:20.6

Yeah.

1:21.6

Because we've gotten into this discussion, like when an ecology is important,

1:26.6

when it's maybe not necessary which I think is almost

1:30.7

never yeah so like that's what's the things yeah so that's we we've this has been an ongoing

1:37.8

discussion with us for about a week now yeah it's like what is repair and why is it important

1:42.8

what is it because I'll talk about you know well it's damaging when you say that yeah and he's like what is repair and why is it important what is it because I'll talk about you know well

1:45.2

it's damaging when you say that yeah and he's like what you mean damaging like what's what's

1:49.7

being damaged yeah you know so it's I just want to I like that you're having conversations about

...

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