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The Angry Therapist Podcast

When Love Feels Like an Addiction

The Angry Therapist Podcast

John Kim

Mental Health, Health & Fitness

4.61.1K Ratings

🗓️ 29 April 2026

⏱️ 26 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

In this vulnerable solo episode, John Kim explores love and sex addiction through the lens of attachment, emotional regulation, childhood wounds, and relationship ruptures. After a painful conflict with his partner, John reflects on how love can become a way to regulate anxiety, emptiness, and the need to feel wanted or chosen. He unpacks the difference between real love and chasing intensity, and why healing means learning to sit with your own internal state without immediately reaching for someone else to fix it. 🎙️ More about John:📘 Pre order my new book, Love Hard On Purpose. Toss the blueprints. Build something honest. https://a.co/d/031PzkW4📘 Read John’s book in progress Sh*t Your Therapist Would Never Tell You on John’s SubStack ⁠HERE⁠ If you’re ready for deeper work, the Secure Self course is available HERE Order John's new book, Break Up. On Purpose,⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Follow John on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Find out more about John⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0

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0:08.0

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0:13.0

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0:19.1

VisitMedexpress.co.ukuk slash podcast to get started today.

0:23.3

Notice are you drawn to?

0:24.9

Notice how fast you attach.

0:26.9

Notice what you ignore in order to stay in the feeling.

0:30.2

Oh, that's powerful.

0:31.9

What you ignore to stay in that feeling.

0:43.1

Okay. that feeling. My name is John Kim.

0:44.8

You're listening to the Angry Therapist podcast and at today's episode,

0:49.0

Love and Sex Addiction.

0:51.0

So one of the reasons why I'm doing this episode in bed is because, and I know I've done episodes in bed often, but today's different. I'm here because I can't get out of bed. And I mean, I tried to go surfing and I thought I was going to drown low energy, zero energy to work out. I'm currently writing four books. They're on different stages and just like I can't

1:13.1

even punch keys, let alone a bag, meaning boxing, which I also didn't go to today. My partner

1:19.8

and I had a rub shirt and it was pretty big a couple days ago. It was it yesterday. Man, this is how bad

1:26.2

it impacts me and I'll get to what I'm talking about, because I don't have a sense of time.

1:31.3

I almost feel like a ghost.

1:34.3

So one of the things I'm doing is I'm kind of pulling myself out of self and I'm witnessing.

1:40.3

I'm getting curious about how things affect me, how I show up, how I cope.

1:46.5

And one thing I'm realizing is after the rupture, the amount of mental, emotional, exhaustion, I feel.

1:56.9

I used to tell my partner, I mean, I guess I still do, that if things aren't okay at home, then they're not okay.

2:04.5

And I think what I was trying to say is how much love means to me.

...

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