Asian Shame, Childhood Trauma, and the Friendships That Heal Us with Sam Louie

The Angry Therapist Podcast

John Kim

Mental Health, Health & Fitness

4.6 • 1.1K Ratings

🗓️ 27 April 2026

⏱️ 52 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

What happens when two men in their 50s look back at the childhood pain that shaped them and realize friendship can be medicine? John rides in the car with therapist, author, and longtime friend Sam Louie for an honest conversation about Asian shame, childhood trauma, masculinity, and healing. Sam shares what it was like immigrating from Hong Kong, growing up in South Seattle, navigating racism and bullying, and living in survival mode from a young age. Together, John and Sam explore how early pain shaped their nervous systems, relationships, and sense of self. They talk about shame, porn, divorce, therapy, parts work, and the healing power of male friendship. This is a raw conversation about identity, repair, and what it means to be truly seen. Connect with Sam https://linktr.ee/AsianShame More about John: 📘 Pre order my new book, Love Hard On Purpose. Toss the blueprints. Build something honest. https://a.co/d/031PzkW4 📘 Read John’s book in progress Sh*t Your Therapist Would Never Tell You on John’s SubStack ⁠HERE⁠ If you’re ready for deeper work, the Secure Self course is available HERE Order John's new book, Break Up. On Purpose,⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Follow John on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Find out more about John⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0	Busy routines can make it hard to focus on your health goals, but MedExpress offers a simple way to explore weight management treatment online.
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0:19.1	Visit Medexpress.co.ukuk slash podcast to get started today.
0:23.0	Because we live in such a structured world, right? Work the nine to five corporate jobs, do what
0:28.7	your manager or the company wants you to do, and how do you break free from those constraints?
0:35.4	Not to break free, just to break free for breaking free's sake,
0:38.9	but breaking free so that the real you can come forth.
0:51.5	This is John Kim, and you're listening to the Angry Therapist podcast. Today we have a special episode.
0:56.9	We're going to talk about Asian shame, some childhood trauma, but also the importance of mandates.
1:03.6	I've always said a mandate is a mandate and I'm coming off a mandate capturing this whole thing fresh.
1:10.7	I'm here with Sam Louis, and here's the thing.
1:14.2	We went through rebirth together.
1:17.0	I met Sam when I was freshly off a divorce, and I didn't have any friends,
1:23.0	and I met someone who brought me to church and said, hey, listen, John, I know a guy who's Asian going through a divorce and also trying to become a therapist.
1:34.4	And I remember kind of rolling my eyes like, I don't have to like find my doppel game.
1:38.6	You know?
1:39.3	And then one day he brought me to Sam's house.
1:41.5	And we started talking about, you know, fitness and random things.
1:45.5	And then I could tell Sam really wanted to be my friend.
1:48.6	I could tell he wanted my phone number, but he was too nervous to ask me for my phone number.
1:52.6	I don't know how we connected, but you did get my phone number somehow.
	...

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