You're listening to LifeKit from NPR.

Hey y'all, I'm Elise Hugh with a very life kit conversation.

So, we want to do right by our kids.

We want to help them develop and grow into resilient, confident adults.

But that can be easier said than done.

It can feel pretty hard.

Clinical psychologist Becky Kennedy or Dr. Becky to her fans knows a thing or two about this.

Like many of us, she heard all the parenting guidance that includes consequences and timeouts,

where kids are sent away when they're distressed.

And when she herself was giving that kind of advice to her patients in private practice,

she realized that the notion of disconnecting with kids when they struggled felt really off to her.

I actually don't think timeouts are effective for anyone, right?

I think leading with connection isn't soft, okay? It's simply effective.

Connection. Connecting with your kids first.

Nurturing that connection and repairing connection when needed.

That's the core to Becky Kennedy's philosophy.

Alright, let's start with what this idea of good inside means to you.

So good inside to me is in some ways like a very simple idea.

And it's really the idea that people are inherently good inside.

And while I think a lot of us can say, oh, okay, that makes sense.

So I believe that's true.

Where I think it's really, really powerful is when we consider the difference between identity

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