Hi, my name is John Kim and I'm a therapist who went through his own

rebirth. I share my feelings and revelations. I believe in casual or

clinical and with you instead of at you I come unrehearsed on

purpose because self-help doesn't have to be so complicated.

So I get a lot of clients who want to know what to look for when choosing a partner and I did a video about this but I wanted to go deeper.

So first let's talk about attraction because I think that's the obvious, that's where we start, and before I thought attraction was very simple, I thought it was two dimensional. I thought it was feeling based. I thought it was basically you see someone and they're either you're either attracted to them or you're not and I used to believe in that whole

meat eyes across the room and when you know you know all of that which I now

believe is movie magic and programming and all the Disney movies and all of that

That being said I don't I'm not saying that the feeling is not true.

What I'm saying is that feeling isn't necessarily healthy, right?

So I've had experiences where I would meet someone or see someone and there's that instant attraction,

that gravitational pull and before I used to think that it was healthy love and it was like, okay, this means, it's a sign,

you know, this means I need to pursue this. But now, not only being a therapist and

studying love and helping people with their love experiences,

but also my personal life, I've learned that it can unusually is coming from an unhealthy dynamic, right?

So if I talk a lot of this concept called predator

prey, it's in one of my episodes, if you want

to search for it.

There's the addiction-E-Anon thing. There's the addiction

Elinon thing. There's these type of dynamics that

stem from our story that turn us into magnets. So like if you grew up maybe with an iron fist dad or something was taken from you,

if you grew up without a voice, if you grew up with abuse, you know, that's going to wire you a certain way.

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