The Bird Show

The Crash was telling us that over the weekend he goes to a wedding in Florida.

Right. St. George Island.

St. George Island.

Which is in the Gulf Coast. I think it's about 100 miles east to Panama City.

Okay. And generally that trip would take you how long?

About five and a half hours, because I'm a pretty good driver.

I average about 75 miles an hour. About five and a half hours. And he knows where all the traffic problems are, so he just avoids him. Intuitively knows, even when he's in the car. And I'm a big road trip guy. I used to love to do road trips between Atlanta and Florida. I was constantly on the road. I knew all the rest stops. I know the trip

like the back of my hand. You can do this thing blindfolded.

Blindfold it. Blindfold.

If five hours you're there, man. Easy. I'm on the beach. I leave here. No time. Boom. Yeah. That said, tell them about your weekend. Well, it's pretty simple, actually, because when you leave 75 and you head south

through the city and of course we left around 10 o'clock

so we missed most of the traffic.

My friend Chris Pongetetti and I, and he's in the passenger seat, and I do all the driving on road trips. We start heading south down 75, and our first turnoff is the Georgia Florida Parkway. Everybody knows where that is. It takes you down to the Florida Bama, and everyone goes to the Gulf Coast, takes the Georgia Florida Parkway.

It's really simple.

It's right out of Cordial, Georgia. You can't miss it. So we're heading south. We get the CDs going. We're going to the beach. Of course, I do all the driving. So, you know, he opens up a little frosty, frosty, and he's having a couple of pops. No big deal. I'm doing the driving.

All of a sudden, I look at one of the signs on the road.

It says Ocala, 82 miles.

We've gone right past Cordill, right past Val Dostra, right into central Florida.

You even miss Tifton?

I missed Tifton. We went so far that we pulled off into Lake City, Florida. Oh, God. And it was just a typical scene out of a movie where we pull into a little country bumpkin store. And I'm like, hey, we're lost. We're trying to get to the Gulf Coast and blah, blah, blah. The guy just looks at me. He's in a rock and cheer. I swear to God, I was right out of a movie. he goes, it throws down a little chew on the floor and he goes,

boy, you must be stupid.

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