The Bird Show.

I think the problem here is this. When you're a woman and you're looking for advice and you're going to other women, I think that's a bad move right there. Sometimes we need guy translators. Like, what does this behavior really mean? Like, he's not saying anything here. So the absence of words means what? Or he's actually said this, this, and this. Translate that into girl speak. Like, you can't possibly dumb it down enough to give advice like a guy, and we can't possibly make it complicated enough to give advice like a woman. That's true. We just can't. So we're going to put Valerie on the voice disguiser here, and I'm going to open up the phones just for guys, because we're going to try to get into her boyfriend's head here just a little bit.

Okay.

Hey, Valerie, you're on the voice disguiser.

Hi.

Hey, what's happening?

He's actually not my boyfriend right now.

Okay.

When did that stop?

About five months ago.

Okay.

Give us the whole story here.

We dated for a while. He broke up with me and came back three months ago. Okay. Give us the whole story here. We dated for a while.

He broke up with me and came back three months later and says he wants me back, but also

doesn't know because he has feelings for another girl at the same time.

And he has been trying to make this decision for a couple months now and just hasn't gotten anywhere.

All right.

We're fast-forwarding a little bit too much here.

How long did you all date initially?

Around seven months.

Okay, seven months.

And then who broke up with who?

...