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The Bert Show

Vault: Does Melissa need surgery?

The Bert Show

The Bert Show

Comedy, Society & Culture, News, Entertainment News

4.14.4K Ratings

🗓️ 19 June 2026

⏱️ 8 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Vault: Does Melissa need surgery?

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

The Bert Show.

0:01.4

So Melissa Carter has been sick the last couple of weeks, although the last couple of days she seems okay.

0:05.5

Well, yeah, I'm trying. I'm trying to feel better. I'm not 100% and it's frustrating because I have been battling an ear infection in both ears since around New Year.

0:16.4

So, you know, I've told before about how I'm a kidney transplant recipient. One of the things about that is I have a low immune system.

0:22.3

And so a lot of times, you know, when I get a cold, it's just a cold and it's fine and no problem. And then sometimes if it's a cold, depending on what's going on, then something piggybacks on top of it and becomes worse. So this started out as laryngitis and turned into, I mean, where my ears were completely blocked

0:39.5

and ear ear infection, not an outer ear infection. And I couldn't hear at all. And I'm at the point now where I

0:45.7

hear better, but like if you had a visual in the studio, most DJs you see have like big, thick

0:52.2

headphones on their ears. You've seen them, you know, on TV or something.

0:55.4

And I have these little earbuds in my ears because I still can't wear the big ear phones because it puts pressure around my ear and it just, and it just doesn't help because, you know, if you have an ear infection, it's not just your ear, but it's the tubes that run from your ears. Anyway, blah. So I've been, and one thing is when you have a chronic illness is you, anytime something, you know, the nice thing about having a chronic illness is you have a team of doctors, is one person called up a dream team, of doctors that are on you all the time. So my kidney doctor, you know, is, you know, always there and, you know, know I see him often is this the good looking one

1:29.0

that's why Jen is always drooling on Wendy and Jen have a crush on he is smoking we need to give him

1:34.0

like a McDramie name or make steamy or mix something and so anyway so yeah he's a good looking doctor

1:39.0

but he's a and he's also very smart and talented doctor and he's also very married and he's very

1:43.9

married to a very beautiful woman and so um so and uh he's also very married and he's very married to a very

1:44.6

beautiful woman and so um so he so he's always monitoring me and um but if something else

1:51.1

happens then we bring other specialists in and so this is ear nose and throat doctor time coming in

1:54.9

and um so i've been going to see him and um you know one of the of the things that was, I was so sick, I was on the

2:03.7

couch for like two weeks in, you know, the beginning of the, or last month in January, still trying to feel better.

2:09.8

But I had an up, a checkup on Friday. And so I went to my E&T, and he looked in one ear and one ear seemed to be clearing up.

2:17.9

The other one is my left ear is still not clearing up very well.

2:20.8

And the issue is not that, you know, because they want me to naturally try to fight this off

2:25.1

with my own body because any procedure they do, because with anybody else in the room,

2:29.0

if this happened, they probably already would have done the needle in the ear and drained the ears.

...

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