VALENTINES DAY SPECIAL: The Bonk Beat Book Club Launch, Nickname Game and Relationship CRISES!
The Therapy Crouch
Therapy Crouch
4.7 • 3.7K Ratings
🗓️ 10 February 2026
⏱️ 47 minutes
🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
In today’s episode of The Therapy Crouch, it’s Valentine’s Day week—and love is not in the air for everyone. Abbey and Peter dive into the chaos of coupledom, unpacking dodgy Valentine’s Day traditions, emotionally-charged listener rants, and their own romantic misfires.
The duo also get into thoughtful (and not-so-thoughtful) gifts, including matching PJs that never made it and strawberry body butter that’s become too predictable.
We also hear from a listener whose Valentine's re-evaluation spiral triggered a relationship crisis, and another whose fiancé ruins every gift by announcing it first.
Plus, there’s a steamy surprise segment on erotic literature—complete with dramatic readings and some very questionable knots.
Finally, it’s nickname heaven as listeners send in their best ever rude, weird and wildly inappropriate names for mates—featuring “Pothole”, “Slinky”, and the unforgettable “Joy Button.”
Send in your Agony Abs, weekly wines, and nickname game entries below!
00:00 - Introduction
04:32 - Gone Golfin’
18:01 - Valentine’s Day!
29:05 - Bonk Beats Book Club
35:20 - Joy Button
41:18 - So (Ham) Salad
45:33 - Competition time!
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | Valentine's Day has a horrible way of making you suddenly re-evaluate your entire relationship. |
| 0:04.9 | I actually like a little raunchy book. |
| 0:07.1 | My c-ch has managed to soften to a manageable state. |
| 0:10.1 | I'm a monster. |
| 0:12.2 | I wish I hadn't read that. |
| 0:16.8 | Guys, if you love us as much as we love you, you should subscribe. |
| 0:19.8 | That's all I'm going to say. |
| 0:21.0 | Hello, and welcome to The Therapy Crouch with me, Abby Clancy. |
| 0:24.0 | Me, Peter Crouch. And our Ross, nice haircut, Ross. Yeah, do you like it? You've gone very Tudor Bob. What, I thought the Tudob's got? I feel like this is a bit more short. Shorter, isn't it? Looks nice. Yeah, I'm happy with her, to be fair |
| 0:35.3 | Yeah, looks good |
| 0:36.0 | Yeah, how are you? |
| 0:37.4 | Good? |
| 0:38.2 | Yeah, you're okay |
| 0:39.0 | How many bronze today up? |
| 0:41.1 | Put a little bit Looks nice. Yeah, I'm happy with her, to be fair. Yeah, it looks good. Yeah. How are you? Good? |
| 0:38.2 | Yeah, you're okay. |
| 0:39.4 | I'm very bronze today up. |
| 0:54.6 | Put a little bit of tan on last night. Face and hands only? No, I actually didn't even do my hands. Because I can't do anyone, this bloody nail, can I? I don't want to draw attention to... Oh, so I was speaking to the farrier at the yard yesterday. |
| 0:55.1 | Oh, yeah. |
| 1:12.0 | He was shoeing the horses and I was like, oh, does that hurt them? I knew it didn't really, but I like, you know, getting some info. And I said, I broke my nail. And he was like, oh, my God, the pain. He said he hit a nail through his. Oh. And he had to remove his own nail to stop the pain but one good thing he said to me |
| 1:14.5 | is I, the nail bed is coming back here |
| 1:16.9 | so he said that will grow back |
... |
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