Undisclosed Financial Settlement of Catan

Judge John Hodgman

Jesse Thorn

Judge, Information, Show, Comedy, Justice, Kids & Family, Society & Culture, John Hodgman, Pc, Relationships, Jesse Thorn, John Hodgeman, More, Knowledge, Mac, World

4.8 • 7.9K Ratings

🗓️ 7 March 2018

⏱️ 56 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Randi brings the case against their girlfriend Lizzy. Lizzy has a growing board game collection and Randi would like her to pare it down. Lizzy says her collection is not disrupting anything. Who's right? Who's wrong? Thank you to Adam Capybara, Tom Brinton, and Brad Daniels for suggesting this week's title! To suggest a title for a future episode, like Judge John Hodgman on Facebook. We regularly put out a call for submissions.

Transcript

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0:00.0	Welcome to the Judge John Hodgman podcast. I'm Baylor F. Jessie Thorn. This week,
0:07.2	undisclosed financial settlement of Catan. Randy brings the case against their girlfriend,
0:13.0	Lizzie. Lizzie has a growing board game collection and Randy would like her to pair it down.
0:18.6	Lizzie says her collection isn't disrupting anything. Who's right? Who's wrong? Only one
0:24.6	man can decide. Please rise as Judge John Hodgman enters the courtroom and presents an obscure cultural
0:31.2	reference. Well, someone's got to break the ice and it might as well be me. I mean, I'm used to
0:37.6	being a host. It's part of my podcast work. And it's always difficult when a group of new friends
0:42.2	meet together for the first time to get acquainted. So I'm perfectly prepared to start the ball rolling.
0:46.8	I mean, I have absolutely no idea what we're doing here or what I'm doing here or what this is
0:53.7	about, but I am determined to enjoy myself. And I'm very intrigued. And oh my, this soup is delicious,
1:00.9	isn't it? Baylor F. Jessie Thorn, please swear them in. Please rise and raise your right hands. Do
1:06.7	you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, so help you God or whatever?
1:11.6	I do. I do as well. Do you swear to abide by Judge John Hodgman's ruling, despite the fact that
1:18.2	his favorite board game is electronic talking mall madness? I do. That's very specific, not
1:26.8	popamatic mall madness, for example. Judge Hodgman? Very well. Randy and Lizzie may be seated.
1:33.1	For an immediate summary judgment, and one of your favors can either of you name the piece of
1:37.9	culture I referenced when I entered the courtroom. Randy, you're bringing this case against Lizzie,
1:42.6	why don't you start? What's your guess? Oh boy. I'm going to go with sex in the city.
1:52.5	Sex in the city. I will definitely enter that into the guest book. And just curious, how did you
1:58.6	come to that? It's the first thing that popped in my head. All right. I love it. You know, I wish
2:04.2	more people would go with the first thing that popped in their head instead of trying to outgame me
2:08.8	as it were. Try to win this non-game that I start the podcast with every time. All right, Lizzie.
	...

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