Welcome to the Judge John Hodgman podcast. I'm Baylif Jesse Thorn. This week we're in

Chambers clearing the docket. With me, as always, the Paragon of Justice himself, Judge

John Hodgman. It's freezing in my chambers. Why is that? Because it's cold outside

and broken. Oh right, other geographic locations have winter. We are recording this in the

Dregs of Feb. And I am having to wear a fleece collar around my trembling neck because

it is so cold in here. I don't like it. I just made the most luxurious purchase of my

life. Let's hear it. It's very cold in the lower level of my home, which is because I live

on the side of a hill substantially, essentially below ground. You're in the shadow of Mount

Doom. Yes. And it is the home of both my sort of den, where my television is, and my

office, where I often work. And so I have a space eater, a portable space eater that I carry

between those rooms to turn on while I'm working or watching some things so that I can stay

warm. Now, I just imagine you carrying around a gently pulsing glowing orb at all times.

Is that what a space eater is? Yeah, I mean, it's kind of like a dragon's egg if a dragon

was a type of alien. Very good. Go on. And I the other day bought a second space heater so

that I could have one space heater in each room and not have to carry the one space heater

back and forth, which felt like the most profligate, luxurious, like, captain of industry.

It's a gilded age extravagance of my entire life. I want to be clear too. It was a $25 space

eater. It is not merely wasteful, Jesse, but it is a reminder that this is not how the system

is supposed to work. You're supposed to feel warm in your home because of the infrastructure

of your home. Right. You know what I mean? It's like when you're a moderately famous

person on Twitter and you're having difficulty downloading the Acorn TV app for all your

fine British television and getting that series three of detectorists to play. And you

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