UFYB 79: Attachment Styles and Personality Tests

UnF*ck Your Brain: Feminist Self-Help for Everyone

Kara Loewentheil

Health & Fitness, Mental Health, Education, Self-improvement, Philosophy, Society & Culture

4.6 • 5.5K Ratings

🗓️ 2 May 2019

⏱️ 18 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

There is a downside to categorizing ourselves by personality tests and attachment styles. Before we learn to manage our thoughts and choose them on purpose, having a diagnostic of those thoughts can have a detrimental effect on our belief in our ability to change.

Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/79

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Transcript

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0:00.0	Welcome to Unfuck Your Brain. The only podcast that teaches you how to use psychology, feminism,
0:14.0	and coaching to rewire your brain and get what you want in life. And now here's your
0:19.3	host, Harvard Law School grad, feminist rock star, and master coach, Paura Lowenthal.
0:31.0	Hello my chickens. It is spring, which in New York City just means enshrining all the time.
0:38.0	We're also human and cranky about it. You know, because in the winter we want it to be spring,
0:43.0	and then it's spring and we're mad at it. Which I just kind of love because this is what
0:48.2	human brains do, right? We think that when we get to this other place or we have this other thing,
0:53.9	we're going to have a totally different human experience, right? When I take that vacation,
0:58.8	when I have that job, when I get married, when I get divorced, then I'm just going to feel so
1:03.4	amazing. And then we got there and we are still having the same old human experience of a mix of
1:09.5	positive and negative emotion. And we're like, that's weird. The experiment didn't work, right?
1:15.2	I guess I better just repeat it exactly the same way, right? We just start to fixate on the next
1:20.6	thing. So it's just so good to notice in myself that I wanted the weather to be different. And now it
1:26.6	is, and I don't feel any different. And then my brain says, oh no, I'm in different in a different way.
1:33.2	Right? No, tomorrow it'll be sunny. I'm still going to have a human brain.
1:38.2	So that's just my musings on the weather. It's like our little elevator chat about the weather.
1:43.1	That's how we're talking about today. So today I'm going to talk about two things I get asked
1:46.6	about a lot. And they may not seem obviously related, but I think they go together. And that is
1:52.6	attachment styles and personality types or tests. So if you don't know what attachment styles are,
1:59.4	it's a concept and psychology that has to do with how we experience intimacy and emotional
2:04.9	attachment, particularly in romantic relationships, supposedly based on our childhood patterns.
2:10.6	And the book people have read most often is called attached to the new science of adult
	...

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