Welcome to Unfuck Your Brain. The only podcast that teaches you how to use psychology, feminism

and coaching to rewire your brain and get what you want in life. And now here's your

host, Harvard Law School grad, feminist rock star, and master coach, Carla Lohanthile.

Hello my chickens. Today we are re-airing one of the most important podcast episodes

I've ever done. And I felt it was one of the most important when I created it. And based

on the download and listening numbers, you all feel that way too. So if you haven't heard

this episode, you obviously need to listen to it. But even if you have, I want you to

listen to it again. Because honestly, this is a lesson that I still am learning. And

I'm sure that I will continue learning. This episode is all about how to know when emotional

difficulty is worth it. One of the most common things that happens when we start doing thought

work and we start taking responsibility for our emotions is that we can basically take

the tools and use them in a perfectionistic way, just like we do everything else. I see

this sometimes leveled as a sort of accusation at thought work itself or at coaching itself.

But coaching is just a set of tools, right? You can use a hammer to build a house or to

hit yourself in the face. It's not the hammer's fault, right? It's not your fault in a

blaming way either. It's the point is just that it's a tool that can be used in different

ways. And that's the same with thought work. So if we come into learning thought work

and coaching from a place where we are used to blaming and finding fault with ourselves

and punishing ourselves, we will totally use thought work to do that. And that's why so

much of my work focuses on, you know, what I always say, like my literally my main goal

is just for you to be nicer to yourself. And if we get that done, I don't care what else

happens. So this episode is kind of all about how to know when emotional difficulty is worth

...