Welcome to Unfuck Your Brain, the only podcast that teaches you how to use psychology, feminism

and coaching to rewire your brain and get what you want in life.

And now here's your host, Harvard Law School grad, feminist rock star, and master coach,

Tara, Lowend Thile.

Hello, my chickens.

So today we are going to be continuing last week's conversation about sex and how thought

work impacts our experience of sex.

So just like we assume that our emotions and our thoughts just happen to us and are

caused by outside forces, we assume the same about our sexual attraction.

Our current model, culturally, of sexual attraction is based on really biology and hormones.

And so we assume that it's outside not only of our total control, but really even of

much influence from us.

We think we are just attracted to someone or just not attracted to them.

And if our attraction changes in either direction, we think that's just a mysterious force

that we can't do anything about.

So I want to say before we get any deeper that I absolutely do believe that there is a

biological basis to attraction that is part of the picture.

I do not think sexual orientation is a choice, for instance, and I don't think you can kind

of think your way into being attracted to anyone, anytime, anywhere, no matter what.

Okay, I'm not saying it's 100 percent mental.

But it's not all or nothing, right?

The options aren't black and white.

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