Welcome to UnFuck Your Brain. The only podcast that teaches you how to use psychology, feminism, and coaching to rewire your brain

and get what you want in life.

And now here's your host, Harvard Law School grad, Feminist Rockstar, and Master Coach,

Kara Loyenthyle.

Hello my chickens. So today we are going to be continuing last week's conversation

about sex and how thought work impacts our experience of sex. So just like we assume that our emotions and our thoughts just

happen to us and are caused by outside forces, we assume the same about our sexual attraction.

So our current model culturally of sexual attraction is based on

really biology and hormones and so we assume that it's outside not only of our total control but really even of much influence

from us right we think we are just attracted to someone or just not attracted to

them and if our attraction changes in either direction, we think that's just a mysterious force that we can't do anything about.

Right?

So I want to say before we get any deeper that I absolutely do believe that there is a biological basis to

attraction that is part of the picture. I do not think sexual orientation is a

choice for instance and I don't think you can kind of think your way into being attracted to

anyone anytime anywhere no matter what okay I'm not saying it's a hundred percent

mental but it's not all or nothing right the? The options aren't black and white.

The fact that there is a biological element

to attraction, especially to, I think, orientation,

doesn't mean that all attraction is biological

and that your thoughts about yourself and the other

person and your sexual dynamic don't have an impact on your experience because they

...