Welcome to the Judge John Hodgman Podcast. I'm Baylif Jesse Thorn. This week, Transcendental

Irritation. Liz brings a case against her co-worker John. John likes to meditate in their

department's workspace. Liz thinks he needs to find a new place. Who's right? Who's wrong?

Only one man can decide. Please rise as Judge John Hodgman enters the courtroom and presents an

obscure cultural reference. Hodgman completed his meditation and opened his eyes. His pale,

flame-savaged face stared back at him from out of the reflective black, transparent steel

of his pressurized meditation chamber. Without the neural connection to his armor,

he was conscious of the stumps of his legs, the ruin of his arms, the perpetual pain in his flesh.

He welcomed it. Pain fed his hate and hate fed his strength. Once, as a minor television

personality, he had meditated defined peace. But now, as a podcaster, he meditated to sharpen the

edges of his anger. Baylif Jesse Thorn, you may swear the litigants in.

Please rise and raise your right hands. Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth,

and nothing but the truth, so help you God or whatever? I do. I do. Do you swear to abide by

Judge John Hodgman's ruling, despite the fact that he only pretended to read Zen in the art of

motorcycle maintenance? I do. Yes. Very well, Judge Hodgman. That's right. I pretended to read it by

staring at all of the pages one by one with that. For hours and hours on end, but refusing to read

any words. Liz and John, you may be seated. For an immediate summary judgment in one of your's

favors, can either of you please name the piece of culture that I referenced as I entered the courtroom.

Liz, we'll start with you. How about? I'll probably just guess that it might be a Star Wars reference.

Might be a Star Wars reference. Sounds like Darth Vader, maybe. All right. Not very specific. Do you

want to be more specific? Is I open the guest book? I don't really know how to be more specific.

That's fair. That's quite fair. We'll just put in something about Darth Vader, maybe.

...