The following podcast is a deer media production.

Hi everyone! Welcome to the Bitch Bible Podcast, new and improved 2. Motherfuckin' O.

I'm not drinking that much right now.

I know that sounds so awful and I have had this weird, I guess I'm kind of past my

quarter life, but semi-passed quarter life crisis where I look at myself in the mirror and

I think something's wrong with me because I'm not having any type of maternal feelings.

People talk about their biological clock ticking and seeing a baby and their ovaries are

exploding. When I see a baby, my ovaries die. Like I enter premenopause. Like I grow a scrotum out

of my labia. Like I don't feel the feels at all and it's like making me kind of nervous about myself

because I can't even conceptualize having a baby right now. And I don't know if that's normal

or if I should be feeling the feels like I consider myself a, well, now I'm lying.

Now I consider myself like a semi-maternal person. I'm a kind of a good caretaker but actually not really.

See now I'm just lying because I feel bad. Now I'm fully lying to you and that's not what we do here on the Bitch Bible Podcast.

I want to have kids. I know that I will be a great mom but the pregnancy part does not sound appealing to me.

At all. My tits are already inflamed and big and saggy and they are going to be so disgusting when I get pregnant

and my cravings already, like non-PMS, are so excruciating and disgusting, I am constantly revolted by myself.

And what I do behind closed doors, like I won't even do it in front of Andrew.

I get these cravings sometimes. Do you know that I drove? This is a true story.

And one of my main pillars of my personal self-esteem is that I don't put this shit on social media

because I am self-aware enough to understand that I am hashtag blessed.

I'm a naturally thin person but I love to eat. I always have, I always will.

It's my favorite thing in the world to do and I would rather work out 25 hours a day than go on a diet.

...