The following podcast is a deer media production.

Hello everyone. I'm very sorry about my nasally-fran-drusher voice this week. I'm having allergies and a sinus infection.

It's very Jewish. Jewish girls are always fucking sick and I... well, I don't mean that to be derogatory but I kind of mean it to be derogatory.

It's the truth. Everyone's sick. There's always a sinus infection. They're always cold. They're always eating salad and they love key chains.

I don't even know if any of that makes sense to anybody or if it's even true but just like in my head, all I see is Tory birch flats, designer key chains from Bergdorf's, or what's that?

Henry Bendel key chains and antibiotics. Not for the vagina, always for the throat or whatever.

That was weird. What a way to kick off a podcast. So yes, I apologize. I'm very, very nasally today. Maybe I have a deviated septum and insurance will cover my prolonged necessary nose job.

So after years of contesting being on this podcast because she says it gives her spilcus, which is like the Yiddish way of saying almost shitting your pants.

Somehow I've convinced my grandma Gloria to do this podcast. I promised her I won't publicly expose her deep desire for her Ashkenazi 87 year old body to entertain the tender embrace of a black man.

Preferably Denzel Washington. I've been trying to arrange that for her Valentine's Day gift. So Denzel, if you're listening, you know, send her a nude via carrier pigeon because that bitch doesn't know how to work her cell phone.

We've gotten her iPhones. We've gotten her flip phones. She had a razor. She just digs. She lives life on the edge and just, you know, lives without technology, hinging her.

It's the way of the future. Valentine's Day is tomorrow, which is also Andrew, my husband's birthday. Luckily, I only buy people gifts that also benefit me because I am a giver.

Speaking of giving, you know, I don't like to hug products that I don't actually love, but I have a discount code that I wrangled for you guys and I really want to share it with you because this shit is amazing.

I use it. I love it. I've given it to all of my friends. It's fucking fantastic. There's this new company. It's called Wu for play. It's totally like natural and organic. They call it a love oil, which I love in its sense, because it's like doesn't sound like

gross. Like, Loub sounds gross to me and invasive and it like makes me clench up my vagina. But I tried it and let me just say me likey, likey.

I think it's like the perfect birthday gift. It's also like bachelor at season. So it's a great gift to give your girlfriends. It's like the cutest packaging.

You can give it to yourself. You can give it to your man. It's like non GMO anti-fungal. It has anti-bacterial. It kills germs. It also like promotes relaxation in your lady parts and it just makes her sexy time much sexier. It's good for you. Good for your holes. It's like a pinnacle out of occasion for your vagina minus the sand.

So go to Wu for play.com and use promo code bitch Bible for 20% off. And it's fucking worth it by it right now. You're welcome in advance.

I am just walking into grandma Gloria's now. I'm sure she will have a poo poo platter of turkey and cheese and sorted canned goods all of which have expired in 1992. So get ready for it.

I am sitting here with the one and only grandma Gloria. She's in a robe. She's having some hot water. It's good for you digestive system. What are you drinking? Right now having minty not smooth move.

Oh, telling everybody not now I do that at night. Oh at night really most people are you supposed to take that shit at night? Yeah. Okay smooth move. Google it. It's a digestive tea. Everyone should get on it. Grandma, thank you for doing this. I know that this gives you spilcus.

A little bit. Was your stomach hurting online? Do you have shingles? Not today. When was the last time you had shingles? I did have shingles. I would say about a couple of years ago, but I don't want to talk about it.

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