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Dave & Chuck the Freak: Full Show

Thursday, March 12th 2026 Dave & Chuck the Freak Full Show

Dave & Chuck the Freak: Full Show

Dave & Chuck the Freak

Comedy

4.62.6K Ratings

🗓️ 12 March 2026

⏱️ 201 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

0:00-1:00 – Show Open

1:00-8:00 – Footage of goose attacking a woman

8:00-18:00 – Sleepcations

18:00-34:00 – What is one thing you wish your significant other would stop doing?

34:00-43:00 – Lady selling diamonds online gets robbed

43:00-45:00 – Teacher hit a kid on scooter

45:00-50:00 – Another person comes forward about getting stung by scorpion at Vegas hotel

50:00-57:00 – Wedding gifts go missing from venue

57:00-59:00 – Massive great white shark spotted along Florida coast

59:00-1:02:00 – 3 whales seen breaching at once

1:02:00-1:10:00 – Jason’s appointment is tomorrow

1:10:00-1:11:00 – Team USA baseball

1:11:00-1:13:00 – NFL games on day before Thanksgiving

1:13:00-1:17:00 – Katy Perry lawsuit against Katie Perry

1:17:00-1:22:00 – Janet Jackson complained about everything after Michael Jackson biopic

1:22:00-1:23:00 – Britney Spears mugshot will not be released

1:23:00-1:25:00 – Mickey Rourke evicted

1:25:00-1:28:00 – Kelly Clarkson reveals she didn’t get what was promised after winning American Idol

1:28:00-1:32:00 – Woman annoyed with famous neighbor’s birds

1:32:00-1:37:00 – Harrison Ford admits he’s banged to some of his movie soundtracks

1:37:00-1:47:00 – Kickboxer pulls car with his balls

1:47:00-2:11:00 – Guy tried to skip out on bill after 15 lapdances at strip club (Tales from the Strip Club)

2:11:00-2:13:00 – Priest busted stealing baseball cards from Walmart

2:13:00-2:16:00 – German tourist sued taco truck from leaving him in non-stop pain

2:16:00-2:18:00 – Snake trapped in woman’s car

2:18:00-2:22:00 – Yoga with pets (Snake Yoga)

2:22:00-2:25:00 – Man used his dog to help rob a place

2:25:00-2:31:00 – App to help men stop masturbating exposed all users’ information

2:31:00-2:35:00 – Lawsuit against David Protein bars for false information

2:35:00-2:37:00 – Sister filming in Waymo when it almost gets into accident at intersection

2:37:00-2:41:00 – Irish woman called Potato by her boss

2:41:00-2:45:00 – Seniors won’t let kids play basketball due to noise

2:45:00-2:47:00 – Payphone that connects you to a senior home

2:47:00-2:50:00 – Gas thieves hit U-Haul lot and cause fire

2:50:00-2:54:00 – Guy customize new vehicle to save on gas

2:54:00-2:56:00 – Girl Scouts told to stop selling cookies outside of dispensary

2:56:00-3:00:00 – People transitioning to harder drugs to stop smoking

3:00:00-3:04:00 – Restaurants starting to charge for condiments

3:04:00-3:08:00 – Student used ChatGPT to text date

3:08:00-End – Naked man terrorizes neighborhood

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Transcript

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0:00.0

Dave and Chuck the freak getting into it on this Thursday, the 12th of March.

0:04.6

And one of the things we talk about is what you want your partner to stop doing.

0:09.3

And let me tell you, I have a laundry list of things.

0:13.2

He doesn't have a partner, but we'll pretend anyway.

0:16.0

It's Jason's Dick Scope Countdown.

0:19.3

Oh my God.

0:22.3

He is nervous as hell, as you can imagine.

0:25.2

Well, yeah, he's about to have something rammed up himself.

0:28.9

I've realized as well that having an old whore with birds moving next door would be a nightmare.

0:35.3

That just happened to someone with a famous whore.

0:37.8

Yeah. Who is it? That's on the way. We talk about this guy who is a lap dance thief in Florida.

0:45.6

Yes. He steals them, doesn't pay for them, but that led to this massive discussion of unbelievable strip club stories.

0:53.5

Two words. Prolapse, men's soup. That could. Two words.

0:56.1

Prolapse, men's soup.

0:57.3

That could be three words.

0:59.0

But that's all coming up. That's a lot of different words.

0:59.9

In just a moment.

1:00.9

A snake gets loose in a car, but it's a lady's tits that got loose.

1:05.4

That really got my attention.

1:07.1

Yes, it did.

1:07.7

A douchebag uses a dog to steal and has Chuck added years to my life?

1:12.8

Of course. We're going to get to that and much more. Today's edition of Dave and Chuck the Freak. Ugh. What's wrong? You had candy for breakfast again, didn't you? It's not a problem, Dave. It's a lifestyle. Look at you. You're a mess. I've got a better way to start your day

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