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Monday Morning Podcast

Thursday Afternoon Monday Morning Podcast 4-9-15

Monday Morning Podcast

All Things Comedy

Comedy

4.832.8K Ratings

🗓️ 9 April 2015

⏱️ 49 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Bill rambles about people who drive white cars, power of attorney, spreadable butter and old clips about Judge Judy and a drag queen brunch.

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

Hey, what's going on?

0:03.0

Just checking in on you.

0:06.0

What's up? It's Bill Burr and it's the Thursday afternoon, Monday morning podcast just before Friday special edition.

0:13.0

And I'm here this week with a very special guest me.

0:18.0

And I'm here to talk to you.

0:20.0

What's going on? How's your week been? Huh? You're fucking baby.

0:24.0

You made it through Tuesday and Wednesday. All right. Quit your whining.

0:28.0

Okay, you got your shillings for the week, didn't you?

0:31.0

It's funny. I told you guys when this this recorder that I use this fucking recorder that I use it for I have to talk for 30 seconds for it to get the

0:42.0

The proper levels levels that are made in order to have a good audio experience.

0:48.0

So, you know, what am I do? I run out of shit to do so I just sing the national anthem.

0:54.0

And I just fucked it up. Why is that such a hard song to sing by yourself? If everybody else is singing it, you know it.

1:01.0

You always end up going through the perilous fight.

1:06.0

But so proudly we hear the twilight's last gleaming. Who's broad stripes and bright stars?

1:14.0

You always go back to the stuck in this fucking groundhog day of patriotism.

1:20.0

So, you know what? All you guys will have ever made fun of anybody who tried to sing the national anthem. I challenge you right now.

1:27.0

Start singing it to yourself at your desk. Just whisper.

1:31.0

Oh, say, can you see? I don't know. See how far you get. See how far you get. We'll see how much you support the troops.

1:39.0

We'll see how much you love America. We'll see whether or not you live or die in a work camp coming up.

1:49.0

You know what the other day I was talking to was talking to somebody about finance.

1:53.0

And he had heard that, you know, I don't let anybody fucking handle my money.

1:58.0

You know, because I watch behind the music and that's the first thing. The first thing you do if you want people to fucking steal from you is let them handle your money.

...

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