meta_pixel
Tapesearch Logo
Log in
Monday Morning Podcast

Thursday Afternoon Monday Morning Podcast 12-26-19

Monday Morning Podcast

All Things Comedy

Comedy

4.734.1K Ratings

🗓️ 26 December 2019

⏱️ 108 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Bill rambles about Christmas, NBA, and examining your happiness.

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

Hey, what's going on? It's Bill Burn, it's time for the Thursday afternoon just before Friday

0:06.4

Monday morning podcast and I'm just checking it on you. How are you everybody? How was your holiday?

0:15.0

Whatever you celebrate, oh, Hanukkah and Christmas and Kwanza too. What do you believe? Is it worth

0:28.4

dying for the fucking polar bears? Don't give up on them. Puhuhuhu no women at the golden globes.

0:40.2

Sorry, anyway, don't watch a bunch of sports. A lot of hockey so singing, you know, the fucking,

0:45.7

what do you call it? Dude, how many times can updates be available on your fucking, you know,

0:50.0

your computer? Updates are available, you know? Does some fucking poor bastard, or I'm going to

0:57.2

imagine a group of them, both men and women, just fucking sitting there updating shit,

1:02.8

working on new fucking Microsoft Word. The letters have to be clearer.

1:10.0

You know, whether or not you just fucking tap out, it's good. It's good. You just treat your

1:14.4

fucking laptop like one of those cars in Cuba where they just keep fucking fixing them from the 1950s.

1:19.5

You notice that shit? They're still driving cars down there from the 1950s, they just keep fixing

1:25.6

them. You fucking idiots out there with your two, three year lease. I like a new car. Hey,

1:31.8

like a new fucking guy, like a new car. I like my old car to get pushed in the fucking ocean

1:36.6

and I got in the fucking no one. Hey, they call me Mikey new car. Oh, look at the leather.

1:45.4

Did you just get a card fucking driving into the ground?

1:49.5

Nope, you always got to get new shit. Hey, I got a flat screen TV. Look at how fucking I can see

1:53.6

his fucking ball bag here from the cross to goddamn living room and fucking three years later,

1:57.9

it's considered a piece of shit. Then you got to, you know, you can't even give it away.

2:03.6

You want 50 bucks to the thing? I don't do it, but it's not compatible with my fucking laptop,

2:07.5

because I kept clicking on the updates. Telling you, man, it's only gay, man. You got to step out

2:14.0

of it, man. I'm seeing things. Actually, I have seen things. Same things a little clearer,

...

Please login to see the full transcript.

Disclaimer: The podcast and artwork embedded on this page are from All Things Comedy, and are the property of its owner and not affiliated with or endorsed by Tapesearch.

Generated transcripts are the property of All Things Comedy and are distributed freely under the Fair Use doctrine. Transcripts generated by Tapesearch are not guaranteed to be accurate.

Copyright © Tapesearch 2026.