Hello, everybody.

If you're watching the video, I apologize yet again.

I mean, am I going to start every episode like this?

Probably.

Now, I'm not following my own general rule of thumb, which is that if you're going to be a big old cunt, you better look

flawless. Those two go hand in hand. When you're talking shit the way that I'm about to,

the hair needs to be done. The cheekbones need to be

protruding. The clavicle could kill a man. But alas, Jerica is here. I am wearing a sensible tank,

a fresh pair of New Balance 9060s. All of my hair extensions are out. I'm looking like a bald, feral rat. But alas, the lion portal

hath opened and Jackie Schimmel is feeling frisky, spunky, and ready to cut a bitch. So here we are.

Now, I'd like to run back the clock to Friday evening, August 8th.

According to the broken internet, the Leo portal was opened, and this was a major, major day for

everybody to manifest and, you know, seek their internal roar and be powerful and present and, you know,

dream big.

Reach for the fucking stars.

And I obviously leaned in.

Okay.

On Friday, I got my hair extensions taken out because my scalp needed to breathe.

I needed oxygen to the scalp. Andrew has left me for dead.

It's been T-minus five days of being a single mom that works two jobs that loves her kids and

never stops. So I was having a solo celebration on Friday. Okay. I finished the hunting wives. I got a

tin of caviar. I made a frothy martini. I left Clyden's school till 7 p.m. They had like a movie

...