Welcome to the Judge John Hodgman podcast. I'm your guest Baylor, Monty Bell Monty from

WRSI 939 the River in Northampton in for Jesse Thorn. This week, Leisure Suit. Stacey

brings the case against your boyfriend Greg. They enjoy traveling together on vacation,

but they always get off to a late start. Stacey wants to get up early, get on the road,

and take advantage of their vacation time. Greg wants to be well rested and take things

slow. Who's right? Who's wrong? Only one man can decide.

Please rise as Judge John Hodgman enters the courtroom.

I think I could turn to live with animals. They are so placid, so self-contained, I stand

and look at them long and long. They do not sweat and whine about their condition,

they do not lay awake in the dark and weep for their sins. They do not make me sick discussing

their duty to God. Not one is dissatisfied. Not one is demented with the mania of owning

things. Not one kneels to another nor his kind that lived thousands of years ago. Not

one is respectable or unhappy over the whole earth. Walt Whitman, Harry, a great man.

To quote Montibel Monti Swerve the man.

Stacey and Greg, please rise and raise your right hands. Do you swear to tell the truth,

the whole truth and nothing but the truth, so help you Clark, Chris Wald or whomever?

I do. I do. Do you swear to abide by Judge John Hodgman's ruling,

despite the fact that Hodgman is currently at his brand new vacation home and you are actually

probably interrupting his vacation? Yes. Yes.

Thank you. Judge Hodgman, you may proceed. Stacey and Greg, you may be seated for an

immediate summary judgment in one of yours favors. Can either of you name the piece of culture

that I was quoting as I entered the courtroom? I cannot. I've got no idea. You cannot.

...