Welcome to the Judge John Hodgman podcast. I'm Bailiff Jesse Thorn. This week we're

in Chambers clearing the docket. With me, as always, the hardest working judge and show

business, Judge John Hodgman. Um, actually, I'm not sure that's true as of this week.

I can think of one other judge who is working real hard. Let's not talk about that.

Oh, you're talking Wapner, right? Yeah, that's right. Well, Judge Judy had to put

that being in judge news. We only have good judge news here on the judge John Hodgman

podcast. In judge news, Judge Judy Shionland had to put out a tweet saying if you're buying

skin care products that have my name on it, those are fraudulent. I'm not releasing. So

those of you who are listening to this podcast because you love judge content, who might

be fans of Judge Judy and you might have gotten some Judge Judy face cream or serums

of some kind. I regret to inform you that those are knockoffs. I regret to inform you

that if you are out there listening to this program and you've purchased Judge John

Hodgman brand skin care products, unfortunately, those are real. Absolutely real. Yes.

It's a real licensed product. Hey, you know what I'm going to say right now? I have, you

know, I have released one person. I wouldn't say personal care product, a personal vanity

product, which is of course my gender is a construct gender free cologne. It was part

of my John Hodgman's Ragnarok survival kit and DVD super pack. And I just want people

to know that those are still available. Had my merch page at topaticode.com. And if

you're really hard up for a skin care product, you can use the mayonnaise pack. No, don't,

but this is what I'm saying. If you get the survival kit, which includes the DVD of my one

man show, Ragnarok, there was on Netflix, but he's no longer. So there's the only place

you can get it. You get clippings of my own mustache that I clipped myself. You get cologne

...