The Guest That Accidentally Put The Podcast To Sleep!
The Therapy Crouch
Therapy Crouch
4.7 • 3.7K Ratings
🗓️ 26 May 2026
⏱️ 48 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
On today’s episode of The Therapy Crouch, Abbey and Peter are back in Portugal and things descend into chaos almost immediately as Pete gets called out for his bizarre podcast habits, the couple debate whether men dress like toddlers on holiday and Abbey relives her iconic school lunch era involving giant sandwiches, wham bars and borrowing 20p from classmates for dinner.
The Agony Abs are particularly unhinged this week as the team discuss whether a grown man letting his mum trim his toenails is the ultimate relationship ick, before tackling a wedding guest dilemma involving cheating, exes and potential reception carnage. Pete also reveals his strict “no dickhead policy” for weddings and why some guests simply have to go.
There’s also a surprise guest appearance that completely changes the mood of the podcast and leaves the whole room unexpectedly relaxed. The gang chat stress, burnout, sleep struggles and why certain voices instantly calm you down… while others do the exact opposite.
Plus, football flight tracking, weird family beauty treatments, podcast breathing complaints and why Abbey thinks Peter has officially become too calm.
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00:00 Introduction
02:47 Morning Routine Chaos
06:26 Peter’s Podcast “Ick”
11:45 The Toenail Debate
16:35 Tracking Football Flights
18:54 Surprise Guest Arrival
26:43 The Meditation Session
32:34 The Sleep Hot Chocolate Idea
35:12 Calm Voices & Marriage
37:39 Wedding Guest Drama
41:18 Peter’s “No Dickhead” Wedding Policy
42:21 Jealousy In Relationships
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | I've got a whole afternoon looking at some knobs today, which is going to be great. |
| 0:04.1 | Nubs all day. I'm looking at knock as far, you know. Do you know what? If I ever want to get my beautiful wife on top of me, here we go. All I need to blackhead. Oh, yeah. She's all open like a rash. You'll never believe it. I just got a message from someone who wants to have a quick chat. Do you mind if I just put you on the laptop? |
| 0:21.7 | No way. |
| 0:22.6 | Oh my God. |
| 0:24.6 | Huh? You'll never believe it. I just got a message from someone who wants to have a quick chat. Do you mind if I just put you on the laptop? No way. Oh my God. Hi! Obligado! Hello and welcome to the therapy crouch with me, Abby Clancy. Me, Peter Crouch. And me, Gaz. How are we? Oh, you got your legs out today. I've got my pins out today. No more linens. |
| 0:38.4 | No linens. |
| 0:39.1 | He was asking the girls yesterday if we think he'd look like a toddler if he wore t-shirt and shorts. And we were like, well, what else are you going to wear in the heat? No, are you with me on this? Actually, you're in a t-shirt and shorts, so maybe my theory doesn't hold water. But women on holidays wear beautiful dresses, beautiful outfits, |
| 0:54.1 | and men, it's just t-shirt shorts, like little rug rats. |
| 0:56.8 | I just feel like Tommy Pickles or whatever he's called. theory doesn't hold water but women on holidays wear beautiful dresses beautiful outfits and men it's just |
| 0:54.6 | t-shirt shorts like little rug rats i just feel like Tommy pickles whatever he's called just like |
| 0:59.0 | or deal pickles so you so what so what you want to wear linens so i think yeah linens and some sort of |
| 1:05.6 | like crazy get-up i don't know but then i like boil my you know my ass off it sweating away. You've always got your legs out. That's my wine, actually. This morning I got up, you were nowhere to be seen. And I got a text to you had a tennis lesson. It's like, still not over getting beat. No, I just thought, when I'm going to squeeze it in, I just got involved with a little lesson today. |
| 1:28.8 | Yeah. |
| 1:29.1 | Just work a few things out, making a few too many errors. |
| 1:34.2 | What was it, double faults or something? |
| 1:35.6 | Was it last time? |
| 1:36.6 | Is that what you're trying to wind out? |
| 1:38.1 | My serve was my forte back in the day. |
| 1:41.0 | And that's, it's not, it's not quite there yet. |
| 2:01.7 | Are you just honing? Are you one of these guys? If the first serve hits the net, you're going as hard second time or do you go lightly second time? It's not light. It needs to be, that's the problem. Leads to be kind of a different serve. You change your grip and maybe do a kick serve or a spin. Why do they do the second serve later? |
| 2:04.3 | Because you don't want to double fault, do you? |
| 2:07.1 | So the first serve is like should win the point if it goes in, really. |
... |
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