Welcome to the Judge John Hodgman podcast. I'm Pailiff Jesse Thorn. This week, the glass

action lawsuit. Dan Files sued against his girlfriend, Jessica. Jessica has a pair of

low grade prescription eyeglasses. She prefers not to wear them. She says they're not attractive.

Dan says she's missing out on life by refusing to wear the glasses. Who's right? Who's

wrong? Only one man can decide. Please rise as Judge John Hodgman enters the courtroom

and presents the obscure cultural reference. Shed the days like skin, pray for evenings

in. Hold their hands in the street when you walk them off to school. A box too full to

shut cardboard paper cut, bleeding edge of a picture of your parents when they were

cool. Pailiff Jesse Thorn, swear the men. Please rise and raise your right hands. Do

you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth so help you God

or whatever? I do. I do. Do you swear to abide by Judge John Hodgman's ruling, despite

the fact that in lieu of corrective lenses, he simply has a pet eagle who tells him what

he sees. Yes, I do. I do. Very well, Judge Hodgman. Dan, Jessica, you may be seated. Yeah,

it's not only an eagle-eyed eagle as a little bit of a cliche, but hey, there are stereotypes

for a reason. It's also one of those English-speaking eagles. I wish everyone could have one, but

only I can. Sorry. Most people can only afford a Portuguese

speaking eagle. I wish I knew the Portuguese currency right now. I guess it's Euros at this

point, right? That's right. They're in the Eurozone. That was part of the problem, right?

Exactly. So, those Euro a dozen, is a dozen metric? We'll say it is. Eagles, Portuguese Eagles.

Dan, Jessica, for an immediate summary judgment in one of your favors, can either one of you

name the piece of, I would say, popular culture, that I quoted directly as I entered the courtroom.

Jessica, you have been dragged into this courtroom against your will by Dan, so you get the first

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