The Curtain Confusion

Secret Mum Club with Sophiena

Audio Always

Funny, Confessions, Kids & Family, Kids, Motherhood, Family, Comedy, Relatable, Parenting, Sophiena

4.8 • 603 Ratings

🗓️ 12 February 2026

⏱️ 16 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

The ladies have been keeping a secret, but all is finally revealed… There’s an update from Kelsey on managing her twins’ cot chaos, plus the ladies receive expert advice from a listener on handling mischievous toddlers. And one family’s brand new curtains lead to a very unfortunate (and very sweary) mispronunciation.

Emma Spring Bank Holiday Sale is live! Get up to 25% off plus extra 5% using the code SECRETSLEEP at Emma Sleep.

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Transcript

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0:00.0	Before we do get into this episode, the episode does come with a lot of. Expletives. I couldn't say the word. So there was Emma's input into that. But no, the episode has a lot of swearing. More than usual. More than you. But yeah, the last secret is right at the end of the app. But we just wanted to let you know before we get into this. Hello, this is the Secret Mum Club. I'm Safina and I'm Emma and welcome to your Thursday's episode where we get to squeeze in all the extra bits and bobs from the week. Squeeze your bits, honey, on my new tits. I don't have any tips. Squeeze your tits. And your bit. Shall we jump on it? Oh, no.
0:38.0	No, yeah.
0:38.5	Do you want to finish your line?
0:39.6	Okay, dokey.
0:41.1	All your comments, thoughts, questions and fun stories.
0:44.2	To keep you going through the weekend.
0:45.5	Shall we jump honies?
0:47.1	There it is.
0:47.8	There it is.
0:48.9	We got there in the end.
0:54.9	Right. Before we get into the correspondence corner, we need to talk.
0:59.0	We're talking.
1:00.3	Our live show!
1:02.8	Yes!
1:04.3	Yes!
1:04.6	We are coming to Bush Hall in London on the 20th of May.
1:08.6	What better place for us to go than to the bush?
1:10.7	We love a bush. Let's go to the bush. Us's go get away. Taking my bucket crush to the bush. Take my bucket crush to the bush. I'm really excited. I am too. We've heard, we've listened and we will... And we've responded. Okay. And we will deliver. We We're going live It's only one night only One night only One night only It's been too long It's been over a year since our last live show And I just can't wait to get back to the people I am slightly nerve though Are you? Yeah I'm not as nervous as I was last time might put my pants. Because now we've met them all and we know they're nice.
1:45.5	But what if the same, the same ones don't come again?
1:48.0	It's a different crowd.
1:48.8	Yeah, it's a different crowd.
1:49.4	Horrible ones.
	...

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