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Secret Mum Club with Sophiena

The Makeup Disaster

Secret Mum Club with Sophiena

Audio Always

Relatable, Motherhood, Comedy, Kids, Kids & Family, Parenting, Confessions, Funny, Family, Sophiena

4.8603 Ratings

🗓️ 10 February 2026

⏱️ 52 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Sophiena shares the humbling moment Dottie brutally reviewed her makeup (and didn’t hold back), while Emma navigates birthday party politics at Joseff's new school. Plus, a heartwarming message from a single dad who took the leap into adoption, and an unfortunate itchy legs incident.

Emma Spring Bank Holiday Sale is live! Get up to 25% off plus extra 5% using the code SECRETSLEEP at Emma Sleep. 


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Transcript

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0:00.0

Hello, this is the Secret Mum Club. I'm Safina. And I'm Emma. This podcast is a safe space for

0:09.1

moms everywhere. A safe space to share our secrets. Because we all have secrets, don't we? And as we know,

0:13.4

sharing is caring. You don't even have to tell us who you are. You can keep that to yourself,

0:16.9

you can be anonymous. And all those secrets can be serious or silly. All secrets are welcome in the Secret Mum Glove! Da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da. It still feels so weird looking into the camera. Still tough, isn't it? They're like Moira Stewart. Who? Moira Stuart? Is that a name? Oh, we saw, did you see the clip the other day about dinkle humpaburt?

0:38.5

Dink. Bink? Yeah. Dinkle, dinkerbink.

0:41.0

And some people were like, oh, that's, like, I've never been able to say his name, so you're not alone. Uncle her at humpedit, humpedick. Humper dick. Umper dick. Encle her at humpadink. ankle her at pumpa dink

0:51.7

It was still with us we now know

0:53.2

Pumpa ding

0:54.4

How are you?

0:55.9

Humperdick

0:56.2

Engle heart humpa dink

0:57.6

Humper dick Herat, Pumpa, Pompadink. It was still with us, we now know. Pumpa ding. How are you?

0:55.1

Humperdick. Humpa. Humpa. Humpa. Humpa. Humpa. Humpa. It's not as Hump. No, it's

1:00.1

Humpa dick is, but humpa dick is better. Humpa. Hunk. I think that's what it should be. Hunker dick. Hunker dick. Why don't you just hump a dick? Yeah, hunker dick. It's like an insult. Chunker dick. Oh, lie. Chunker hunkunker hunker. How are you? I'm good. Yeah. We will have had a birthday by the time this goes out. Are you excited? Not we. I do with you and me. Yeah. Ours isn't until July. But how are you on the, because last time we actually discussed the birthday sitch, you actually got an invite from school to have a joint birthday. Well, I was chatting to another one of the dads

1:30.1

and I don't know whether I came across, because I think I can come across a little bit aggressive. I don't know if you'd agree. We would never think that. But I was like, oh, we're coming to So and So's party on the seventh. I was like, oh, Joseph's birthday's on the ninth. When's your little boys? He was like, oh, it's on the sixth. And I was like, oh, Joseph's birthday on the ninth? When's your little boys? He was

1:44.3

like, I was on the sixth. And I was like, well, you stole our fucking weekend. No, I wasn't going to do a school party for Joseph this year. Just because we've just moved. And you want to settle in. Yeah, I thought, you know, either. Pick out the ones you like and don't like. Exactly. We've got a suss out, who are the goodies, who are the baddies.

2:01.2

No, either it could be a really good way to like integrate ourselves't like. Exactly. We've got a suss out. Who are the goodies? Who are the badies?

2:19.2

No, either. It could be a really good way to like integrate ourselves and like host an event and meet everyone. But also I did just think it's just a bit much. We don't, I don't really know everyone yet. And anyway, so I was like we'll just do a small thing. And would you have had it in the house with everybody in there if you were to do it that way. It would be like a hire a leisure centre vibe, which is what everyone else does.

2:18.3

So I was chatting to the dad at another one of the parties and with everybody in there if you were to do it that way? No, it would be like a hire a leisure centre vibe,

2:21.8

which is what everyone else does. So I was chatting to the dad at another one of the parties and he was like, oh, well, the birthdays are so close together. Why don't you just join out? And I was like, not the birthday party that's in like two weeks. I was like, obviously you've made plans for that. I was like, I'm not just going to piggy back onto that now.

2:32.3

I was like, oh, like God, no, no, it's fine.

2:34.4

I was like, you know, we'll be there.

...

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