The Business, Second Weddings, Psychos Celebrating | Thursday Afternoon Monday Morning Podcast 12-18-25
Monday Morning Podcast
All Things Comedy
4.8 • 32.8K Ratings
🗓️ 18 December 2025
⏱️ 133 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
Bill rambles about the entertainment business, second weddings, and psychos celebrating death.
(00:00) - Thursday Afternoon Podcast
(31:50) - Thursday Afternoon Throwback 12-18-17 - Bill rambles about Steelers/Pats, advertising, and being married to an older man.
(01:40:24) - Anything Better Podcast - NFL Week 16 Preview with Paul Virzi. Paul is officially out of the running to beat the book, but Bill is holding strong at a game ahead of .500. They also talk about Old Man Rivers and the hug that lasts too long.
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | Hey, what's going on? It's Bill Burr. How do you doing? It's time for the Thursday afternoon just before Friday, Monday morning podcast. And I'm just checking in on you. Who. What's going on? How you doing? How you doing? I am going to be down in Cerritos, California tonight. |
| 0:23.5 | Where is Cerritos, California? Well, it's just about northeast of Long Beach, California. I love Long Beach. |
| 0:30.5 | Scream for me, Long Beach. I can never say Long Beach without saying scream for me, Long Beach. |
| 0:36.8 | Because way back in the day in the 80s back |
| 0:40.1 | when old freckles had a nice thick full head of hair trying to grow a mullet but it wouldn't come |
| 0:44.9 | down it just went out it just went out and uh once again once again you know I just looked in the mirror |
| 0:53.3 | and be like can there be anything about me that's normal? |
| 0:57.0 | Can I just fit in somewhere? |
| 1:01.2 | And God was like, no, no, Bill. |
| 1:05.2 | You know what it is about you? |
| 1:06.7 | When I made you, I didn't feel like trying that day. |
| 1:09.6 | Okay, we all have those days. |
| 1:11.6 | And I just wasn't into it. |
| 1:13.2 | You know, I sort of slapped you together. |
| 1:15.5 | And, you know, up the end of the day, the way I slapped you together, that's how it came out. |
| 1:20.6 | You know, that's how it came out. |
| 1:22.7 | But I am going to judge you and all the decisions you made based on the fucking shit job I did making you. |
| 1:34.0 | That would be the funniest shit ever. |
| 1:36.5 | I die and then I'm getting judged by God. |
| 1:38.7 | I'd be like, what the fuck was I supposed to do? |
| 1:40.2 | You gave me fucking orange hair, you cunt. |
| 1:43.3 | You know, I couldn't even go out in the goddamn sun |
... |
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