The Bicycle Grief

Judge John Hodgman

Jesse Thorn

World, Show, Complete, Hodgeman, Comedy, Pc, Daily, Hodgman, Mac, More, Expertise, Knowledge, Information

4.8 • 7.7K Ratings

🗓️ 21 June 2023

⏱️ 77 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Clare brings the case against her mother Suzanne and her stepdad David. Every summer, Clare spends a month visiting Suzanne and David at their house. Her visit always overlaps with the Tour de France. Suzanne and David watch every minute of the Tour because they don’t want to miss any of it. Clare says that’s getting in the way of them spending time with her!

Transcript

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0:00.0	Welcome to the Judge John Hodgman podcast. I'm Bale of Jesse Thorn. This week, the bicycle
0:07.6	grief. Claire brings the case against her mother, Suzanne, and her stepdad, David. Every
0:14.2	summer, Claire spends a month visiting Suzanne and David at their house. Her visit always
0:20.6	overlaps with the tour de France. Suzanne and David watch every minute of the tour because
0:26.7	they don't want to miss any of it. Claire says that's getting in the way of them spending time
0:32.8	with her. Who's right? Who's wrong? Only one can decide. Please rise as Judge John Hodgman
0:38.9	enters the courtroom and presents an obscure cultural reference.
0:45.1	19 liters of hot chocolate, seven liters of tea, eight cooked eggs, a mix of coffee and champagne,
0:53.5	45 cutlets, five liters of tapioca, two kilos of rice, and oysters. Bale of Jesse Thorn,
1:00.8	please swear the litigants in. Claire, David, and Suzanne, please rise and raise your right hands.
1:05.3	Do you swear to help the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth? So help you, God
1:09.9	or whatever. I do. I do also. I do. Do you swear to abide by Judge John Hodgman's ruling,
1:17.2	despite the fact that he probably wears one of those normal round bicycle helmets and says those
1:22.4	long skinny ones, those long skinny ones. Those Tron helmets. Yes. Yes. We will abide. Judge
1:32.0	Hodgman, you may proceed. Dave Suzanne and Claire, you may be seated for an immediate summary judgment
1:36.4	in one of your favors. Can either of you, and I'm going to make you, David, and Suzanne, a team
1:42.8	because you are co-defendants. Not fair, Claire, is it? I can tell. I can see you at the top of my
1:49.2	screen. Claire is like not enjoying that at all. It's okay. Don't worry, Claire. Everything's
1:55.1	going to be fair. I made a note for this morning. I said, make it fair for Claire. That was the note I
2:00.0	made. Much obliged. You're welcome. Claire, do you want to guess first? Sure. Well, it sounds like the
2:11.2	meal list of the things that were eaten by a member of the Tour de France in like
2:17.2	1912 or something like that. But 1912 is the year you want to go for sure. 1912.
	...

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