The Baby Monitor Santa
Secret Mum Club with Sophiena
Audio Always
4.8 • 603 Ratings
🗓️ 23 December 2025
⏱️ 46 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
Christmas chaos has hit as Soph falls out of the loft, one listener causes some Santa-based trauma (listener discretion advised 👀), and Emma shares some questionable bog brush opinions. There are surprise appearances during festive games, and the discovery of a tiny baby Jesus in the wild.
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | Just before we get into this episode, we urge you immediately if you have little ones around you or there are children in earshot or if you're in the car listening to our dulcet tones, please be warned. |
| 0:12.5 | There is a lot of talk of Santa. And if you know, you know. |
| 0:17.6 | So either turn off and come back or listen to us in the bath or why are you having a poo? |
| 0:22.4 | Any choice suits you. |
| 0:24.9 | Ciao. |
| 0:30.3 | Hello, this is the secret mom club. |
| 0:32.5 | I'm Safina. |
| 0:33.3 | And I'm Emma. |
| 0:34.0 | And it's almost crass ma. |
| 0:37.0 | I'm so excited. |
| 0:38.7 | Buzzin. |
| 0:39.2 | And we're doing things a little bit differently today. |
| 0:41.7 | There may be a couple of games. |
| 0:43.3 | And we've got a bunch of festive secrets. |
| 0:46.1 | Oh, secrets are welcome in the Secret Mom Club. |
| 0:51.9 | Two days before Christmas. |
| 0:54.1 | Na, nah, na, na, na, na. Two days before Christmas, na, na, na, na, na, na. |
| 0:55.5 | Two days before Christmas, I fell out the loft hatch. |
| 0:59.7 | Merry Christmas. |
| 1:00.6 | Merry fucking Christmas. |
| 1:01.7 | Right. |
| 1:01.9 | Something we should be talking about is the fact that when you actually go from a bungalow to a house, |
... |
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