The Tupperware Elf
Secret Mum Club with Sophiena
Audio Always
4.8 • 603 Ratings
🗓️ 25 December 2025
⏱️ 12 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
Merry Christmas, Secret Mum Clubbers! Here’s an extra-special festive treat, featuring terrible cracker jokes, a Christmas Eve baby, and a very naughty elf. 🎄
Emma Spring Bank Holiday Sale is live! Get up to 25% off plus extra 5% using the code SECRETSLEEP at Emma Sleep.
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | Hello, this is the Secret Mum Club. |
| 0:06.0 | I'm Safina. |
| 0:06.7 | And I'm Emma. |
| 0:07.5 | And before we get started, we just want to wish you all a Merry Christmas. |
| 0:14.9 | As a special little festive treat, we've got an elf-sized episode to share with you all. |
| 0:20.2 | Just a little something to help spread the Christmas joy. |
| 0:23.1 | Let's do it. |
| 0:27.8 | And it's not Christmas without crackers. |
| 0:31.3 | Crackers. |
| 0:32.4 | And an empty glass of wine. |
| 0:34.4 | This is how I spend my Christmas. |
| 0:36.2 | Well, you can't see me because this one isn't on YouTube, but you can catch other episodes on YouTube. Can you tell we got a memo to direct people to YouTube? You can catch us on YouTube, but not this one. And if you're sick of us saying it, don't tell us. We're just holding an empty glass. Well, we have got a bottle of fizz to pop. Bucks Fizz. It's actually Clementine and cranberry Bux Fizz. From M&S. Very nice. Shout out Eminet. Should we do the crackers first? Your crackers! We're going to spill our drinks otherwise. We're just, I'm going to spend my Christmas just holding an empty glass, but I'm in my own house. I'm going to spend mine holding a full glass. |
| 1:12.6 | I'm not good with creditors. |
| 1:13.1 | No. |
| 1:25.2 | We do one. Should we go double fisting? I got you right in my breasticles, guys. Oh, God. Oh, we double. Double fisting. Oh. This one, this one. This one. Oh. Oh, she won. You won. She won. Let me win this one. |
| 1:26.4 | Wait, no. |
| 1:27.5 | Oh, my gosh. |
| 1:28.6 | I don't know what it is. |
| 1:30.0 | Is it a tiny vibrator? |
| 1:27.5 | Hello. You won. You won! Let me win this one. Wait. No. Oh my gosh. |
| 1:45.6 | I don't know what it is. Is it a tiny vibrator? Hello. No. Is it one of these? Well, we know you need one of those. Oh, okay. Ready? Three two, web. Oh, you've got a tactic, I think. Eyebrow blockers! You've got a tactic. You hold the body of the cracker, don't you, so that you win them? |
| 1:46.3 | I'm on to you. |
... |
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