What up guys, it's your homie Lisa Billu here and if you're part of the huge majority of us women who felt powerless, disrespected and filled with yourself doubt whether in your personal life or your professional life then this episode of Women of Impact is going to light you on freaking fire because homie you're going to learn the seven psychological traits to command respect immediately and assert your authority in any situation. And yes, without looking like a total bitch, or being called a total bitch, because let's be honest, anytime us women assert our authority, we do get sometimes just called a bitch as a way of trying to diminish and demean our power. Well, not today, not with this episode, because the woman here to help us figure that out is the former US Secret Service agent, TV personality, host and author, who is absolutely the freaking expert when it comes to resilience and commanding respect. That is every pomporous. To get ready, because every is dropping so much freaking brilliant wisdom about how you can bounce back from any struggle, you can ditch the victimization pattern that you may be stuck in and you can actually finally own your shit. That's right, she is here and saying exactly what is the truth on her heart and on her mind without holding back. She's spilling all of her secrets on how to control any room without being super confrontational and explains why you should absolutely let people underestimate you. Guys, this episode is so damn tactical, you better get your pen, your paper or your notes and take down every single tactic she reveals. Because by the end of this episode, Mahami, you'll know exactly what you need to do to own your insecurities, take control of your life once and for, and actually be the strong, resilient, freaking, confident badass that you've always wanted to be. So let's go. Let's dive in. Right now, I'm Lisa Bilyu. Welcome to Women of Impact. Tactic number one, command respect. Authority is a strong influence tactic. When you are perceived as an authority in something, people will act we as to you more. This is why we act we as so much to doctors, because we see them as authority, law enforcement, because they've got a uniform on, financial advisors, so many people acquiesce to them because we see them as an authority. Meanwhile, they could have graduated at last in their class. And so when you assert yourself as an authority, and body posture, and voice, and speech, and how you present yourself, people are less likely to mess with you. So from the onset, like, I had to learn this a lot in the interview room when I would interview people who were criminals, who would see me and be like, oh man, this is going to be an easy day. Because I worried about that initially. But I controlled that from the moment I met that person. From the moment I met them, from the moment I break it down, what do you mean by that? Hi, how are you? I'm Mevi, Pompurus, nice to meet you. And if I wanted to throw in the moment. I met them from the moment break it down. What do you mean by that?

Hi, how are you?

I'm Mevi, Pompurus, nice to meet you.

And if I wanted to throw in special agent,

I freaking would.

Hi, I'm special agent Pompurus, nice to meet you.

Come with me.

Now, granted, this was an interview environment.

But I set the tone.

Now, this person. So I won't be passive. Passive is no go, because that builds up and then you blow up on people. But if I'm also dealing with someone who's like, I'm sorry, a buffoon, I'm done dealing with you. I will minimize my detailing, my dealing with you. I'll deal with you via email if I have to. I'll pull back. I have my manager deal with you. I'm like, hey, I don't want to talk to these guys. Guys, the Bozo, I know I got to work with him.

Can you handle him? dealing with you. I'll deal with you via email if I have to. I'll pull back. I'll have my manager deal with you.

Like, hey, I don't want to talk to these guys.

Guys, the Bozo, I know I got to work with him.

Can you handle him? So I'm strategic. I don't need to handle him. I love that. I want to go back to verbal economics. Talk to me about that. because I'm such an advocate for words matter.

The words you use for yourself,

and the words you use to others can signify either with yourself, that you're inferior or superior, and then to others, whether you feel, because like you said, right, authority. So the language that you use in order to express the authority, I assume, is extremely important. What are the things that you feel make all the difference in that situation? So verbal economics has actually didn't come from me. It came from one of my former colleagues, Lee, who's a great interviewer and negotiator. And he said, we talked about language, and he said, he termed the coin, because we would talk about how important it is the words words we use because we would be very mindful of the words we use when we were talked to people because certain words can put people off and make them shut down. In other words, can invite them in and make your peer more open and they communicate with you more. So he would call it verbal economics. Meaning we live in a time where we think, I have to say everything I'm thinking. I go as mentoring this woman once, she's like, you know, I talk really fast because I'm trying to get everything I'm thinking out of my mouth. And I'm like, why? Choose what you let out. Not every idea that pops into your head should you verbalize. Because when you do that, you're not putting weight into your words. So verbal economics means choosing your words thoughtfully. your words thought. And then what you're about to say, think of it as money. Right. And the more powerful, impactful the words, the more money you're putting down. It's currency that you're using with another human being. And if those words you're using have currency, have weight, they're going to impact that person more. But if you're just like spewing out everything you're thinking, there is no currency there because nothing is really truly a value. Look, it's going to happen where people and things are going to come out the wrong way or say the wrong thing. But when you can slow it down and really use this mindset of verbal economics, my words matter and they have weight, that they impact another human being in some way. and it can impact them in a positive or negative way. And it can also impact me whether what I get from that relationship is positive or negative. So how do you start assessing which are the high dollar bills and the low dollar bills? It depends on the situation. I talk about priming a lot in the book.

And priming is you can prime people to be more open with you. And it's actually a good negotiator's, good people who do business. Before you do a pitch, we used to have the same even in the interview room. You're opening line. You should always write that thing down. That should be rehearsed. You should never fly by the sitting in your pants. that opening line is going to be the defining moment

and how the rest of your conversation is going to go. So, like, priming words, you know, hi, I'm Evie. It's so nice to be here. Thank you for having me. I can't wait to talk to you about the partnership and create an open relationship and an honest one where we can cooperate together. Now, in there, I threw in priming words, open, cooperative relationship. So I'm priming you to want to work with me to create this open environment. You can also do that with your environment as far as having open space, letting people not feel closed in. You can prime situations in people, talking to people, man, tables, like I could teach people who do interviews or talk to people, and you do your solid, you have open space here but people do negotiations and they have tables between them. Biggest one-on-one fundamental never negotiate with somebody with a table between you two. I taught this interviewing thing for realtors and how to sell better. I did a speaking presentation and they work so hard to like get people to connect with them to sell them like property and all this stuff and then they go to sit down to do paperwork and what do they do? You worked all this time to build this rapport and the minute you sit down at the table you just killed it because now I went from an informal haywire buddy so like all right sit down and do business and think about moments somebody sits down and does business. What do everybody What did you do? Straighten up, okay. We're gonna do business. Okay, I'm gonna do my interview now.

I don't- business and think about moments somebody's just standing does business. What do everybody do? Straighten up. Okay. We're

going to do business. Okay. I'm going to do my interview now. I

don't want that guy or gal. I want the person before I want

my buddy. And you have a table. I've had you say, you can't

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