"Terrified I've Damaged My Spirited Daughter"

Respectful Parenting: Janet Lansbury Unruffled

JLML Press

Kids & Family, Parenting

4.7 • 3.8K Ratings

🗓️ 1 August 2017

⏱️ 12 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

A mom writes that she’s recently noticed her 2.5-year-old avoids looking her in the eye -- as if she’s ashamed. She’s worried that her stern lecturing and irritation when setting limits has damaged her daughter’s spirit, and she wants to know if it’s too late to make reparations. For more on common infant/toddler parenting issues, please check out Janet's audio series SESSIONS, her recorded consultations with parents discussing their most immediate and pressing concerns. Find out more at: SessionsAudio.com Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Transcript

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0:00.0	Hey everyone, before we begin, I just want to remind you to please check out my new
0:07.6	No Bad Kids Master course.
0:09.6	You can find out all about it at nobadkidscourse.com.
0:18.0	Hi, this is Janet Landsbury and welcome to Unruffled.
0:21.8	Today I'm responding to an email from a mom who's worried that the general discipline
0:26.8	she's been practicing throughout her two and a half year old daughter's life may have
0:30.8	caused some permanent damage to their relationship.
0:33.9	She wants to know if she can now do anything to mend it or whether it's too late.
0:39.6	Okay, here's the email.
0:43.2	Dear Janet, I was having issues setting limits with my two and a half year old since we've
0:47.7	been practicing gentle discipline.
0:49.8	And then I discovered your blog and books, everything you say resonates with me.
0:53.1	I've only been applying your suggestions for a week and I see great results already.
0:58.0	I have a question.
0:59.2	I'm terrified that I damaged my spirited daughter.
1:02.9	After reading your blog post problems with gentle discipline, I realized that when setting
1:07.1	a limit, I was getting irritated and I was lecturing for way too long.
1:12.5	What I now realize is that ever since my daughter was very little, she has avoided looking
1:17.3	into my eyes.
1:19.1	Have I damaged her forever?
1:21.2	Is she going to think now that I disapprove of her behavior?
1:24.8	I'm terrified because according to Eric Erickson, the age of shame versus doubt is between
	...

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