Hey everyone, before we begin, I just want to remind you to please check out my new

No Bad Kids Master course.

You can find out all about it at nobadkidscourse.com.

Hi, this is Janet Lansbury.

Welcome to Unruffled.

Today I'm responding to an email I received from a mother who has a toddler son and he

started asking if she's happy or if she's sad when he's misbehaved.

She's worried that her son might be a little too concerned about her emotions.

Okay, here's the letter that I received.

Hi Janet, I love your podcast and have since applied the Rye Method in my daily parenting.

I have recommended your podcast to all my mom friends.

Recently I encountered a conundrum.

I was raised by a strict mother who would punish me with threats and a cold stare from

her would freeze me.

I did everything to make her happy and it took me years to come out of it.

I don't want my child to become a people pleaser, but recently when he does something

wrong he will ask me or my husband, is mommy or daddy happy?

I think what he means is, is mommy or daddy angry?

I don't know what to say, I've told him whether mommy is happy is not the issue, you don't

have to do things just to make me happy.

I'm not sure if he can understand that at two years eight months of age.

I would like to show him how to rectify the situation and emphasize the solution rather

...