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Feminist Wellness

Tenderoni Hotline #34: How Do You Deal With Someone Who Always Plays the Victim?

Feminist Wellness

Béa Victoria Albina

Education, Self-improvement, Alternative Health, Mental Health, Health & Fitness

4.91.1K Ratings

🗓️ 26 May 2026

⏱️ 33 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Tenderoni Hotline #34: What do you do when every boundary, request, or honest conversation somehow gets turned back around on you?

In this Tenderoni Hotline episode, we explore victim mindset dynamics in relationships and the exhausting emotional loops they create, especially for folks healing codependency, people pleasing, and emotional outsourcing.

This conversation unpacks what happens when someone consistently positions themselves as the harmed party whenever accountability enters the room. Whether it shows up through defensiveness, collapse, chronic excuses, or even the weaponization of therapy and nervous system language, these dynamics can leave you questioning your reality, minimizing your needs, and carrying emotional responsibilities that were never yours to begin with.

We talk about why emotionally outsourced folks are especially vulnerable to these patterns, how gaslighting can hide inside “healing” language, and why trying harder to explain yourself rarely changes the dynamic. Most importantly, we explore what it looks like to stay anchored in yourself instead of disappearing into someone else’s story about who you are.

If you’ve ever left a conversation feeling confused, guilty for having needs, or responsible for managing someone else’s emotional state, this episode is for you.

Got a question for the Tenderoni Hotline? Send it to me at: podcast@beatrizalbina.com

Learn more about my courses and apply here: https://www.beatrizalbina.com/courses

Follow me here: https://www.instagram.com/beatrizvictoriaalbinanp/?hl=en

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

This is feminist wellness, and I'm your host, nurse practitioner, somatics, and nervous system nerd, and life coach, Bea Victoria Albina.

0:18.3

I'll show you how to get unstuck, drop the anxiety, perfectionism,

0:21.7

and codependency so you can live from your beautiful heart. Welcome, my love. Let's get started.

0:31.3

Hello, hello, my love. I hope this finds you doing so well. Welcome once again to the

0:40.2

tenderoni hotline where I answer your questions that you send in via email to podcast at

0:46.5

Beatricealbina.com or this week where I am answering a question that came in via my 12-week

0:53.2

course all about relationships. The ways you can work

0:56.6

with me are through Anchored, which is my flagship course. It is a six-month deep dive

1:01.7

coaching program. And in the last couple years, I've noticed a need for self-paced courses,

1:08.8

for folks where they want to do the work, but it's not the time to

1:12.0

dive in to Anchored or Anchored isn't open or for folks who need a lower price point. And so I put

1:19.7

together these courses that talk about the main things I talk about so that you can get all that

1:24.9

care, all that knowledge, all that support and love from me in a way

1:28.8

that I sure do hope works better for you, your time, your budget, your life. And so those three

1:36.0

courses, and there's lots more at Beatricealbina.com slash courses. There's one all about relationships,

1:42.1

the shift, which is all about codependency, ending emotional

1:45.8

outsourcing and nervous system signs and signals, which is my nervous system sciencey course.

1:51.6

There's somatics in all of them.

1:53.3

There's journals, books.

1:55.1

There's breathwork recordings that you can do at your own pace in your own time.

2:00.6

They're just really exciting. I've spent a lot

2:02.4

of time and energy building them because I want them to be incredible supportive resources for you.

...

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