Tenderoni Hotline #2: Why You Freeze When Asked What You Need + How to Say No Without Feeling Guilt

Feminist Wellness

Béa Victoria Albina

Lifecoaching, Mental Health, Holistic, Feminist, Self-improvement, Fatigue, Alternative Health, Feelingstuckinlife, Spirituality, Healthygut, Health & Fitness, Mindbodyconnection, Guthealth, Connectionsbetweenthoughtsandhealth, Education, Ibs, Gutmicrobiome, Feminism

4.9 • 988 Ratings

🗓️ 14 October 2025

⏱️ 15 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Tenderoni Hotline #2: Hello my love! Welcome back to the Tenderoni Hotline, our sweet little corner of the Feminist Wellness podcast where I answer your most tender, honest, and heartfelt questions about healing, self-trust, and nervous system care.

In today’s episode, we’re talking about what happens when someone asks you what you want... and your mind goes blank. We’ll explore why identifying your needs can feel so hard, even with something as simple as choosing dinner, and how childhood experiences and emotional outsourcing shape our capacity to know and express what we truly want.

We’ll also look at why saying no can feel so guilty it makes you say yes just to make the discomfort stop, and how that guilt is often grief in disguise. You’ll learn gentle, practical nervous system tools to reconnect with your inner yes and no, and how to start making choices that center you, with more confidence and less shutdown.

This work is compassionate, science-backed, and all about honoring the wisdom of your body. Because you deserve to trust yourself, feel safe inside your own skin, and belong deeply to you.

Got a question for the Tenderoni Hotline? Send it to me at: [email protected]

Order your copy of End Emotional Outsouring here: https://beatrizalbina.com/book/

Follow me here: https://www.instagram.com/beatrizvictoriaalbinanp/?hl=en

Mentioned in this episode:

End Emotional Outsourcing Is here!

For years, we've gathered here to unpack codependent, perfectionist, and people-pleasing habits. Now, all those conversations, all that healing, and all the nerdy science have come together in my new book, End Emotional Outsourcing. Get your copy today: https://feminist-wellness.captivate.fm/book

EEO Pre-Sale

Transcript

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0:00.0	Hello, my darling, one quick thing before today's show. I wrote End Emotional Outsourcing because we need a new way to talk about codependency, perfectionism, and people pleasing that doesn't shame us. This book is that reframe. And your order and your reviews are what tell publishers that feminist voices matter. This work matters. Head to Beatrice albina.com slash book to order and to leave
0:24.6	your review. Yes, you can review on Amazon and Goodreads even if you bought it somewhere else. When you
0:30.3	grab 10 or more copies to give us gifts, you'll join me live in my six-week class this October,
0:36.2	and you'll be entered to win a seat in Anchored.
0:39.7	Everyone gets bonuses, raffles, and gifts.
0:43.0	Let's do this together.
0:45.2	Oh, and if you don't want all ten copies, we've got a women's shelter we're working with that would be thrilled to take them off your hands.
1:02.8	No. that would be thrilled to take them off your hands. This is feminist wellness, and I'm your host, nurse practitioner, somatics and
1:07.6	nervous system nerd, and life coach, Bea Victoria albina i'll show you how to get on stuck
1:12.7	drop the anxiety perfectionism and codependency so you can live from your beautiful heart welcome my love
1:19.1	let's get started hello, my love.
1:30.4	I hope this finds you doing so well.
1:33.6	I am excited to share with you that we're going to try something new out here on the podcast,
1:38.1	here on feminist wellness.
1:39.4	On Tuesdays, we will be doing a new segment called the Tenderoni hotline. I'm so excited. So it's questions
1:47.4	and answers to common questions that y'all have sent in. And I'll be pulling from anchored groups
1:53.2	from the somatic studio and other programs, common questions, exciting questions, fun questions about
1:59.1	the nervous system, somatics, health, wellness, and I'm going
2:03.2	to be doing some coaching. So if you have a coaching question or a general question you'd like me
2:08.1	to answer on a Tuesday, send it in to podcast at Beatrice, B-E-A-T-R-I-Z-Albina.com, and I will be
2:16.3	answering them every Tuesday. We'll see how it goes. If y'all are
2:19.9	downloading them. If you're sending in emails, it seems to be going well. We'll keep it going.
	...

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