Tenderoni Hotline #19: How to Respond When Someone Ignores Your Boundaries + Why Crying Is Good for Your Nervous System
Feminist Wellness
Béa Victoria Albina
4.9 • 1.1K Ratings
🗓️ 10 February 2026
⏱️ 17 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
Tenderoni Hotline #19: Hello my love, and welcome back to the Tenderoni Hotline, our soft and spacious corner of the Feminist Wellness Podcast where we explore your most tender questions about healing, nervous system care, and returning home to yourself.
In today’s episode, we’re moving through three questions that speak right to the heart of healing for emotionally outsourced humans:
First: What do I do when someone ignores my boundary? We’ll talk about how to respond with clarity and compassion, the difference between miscommunication and disregard, and how to stay rooted in self-trust when boundary-setting feels heartbreaking.
Next: Why do I cry so much? And is that actually okay? We’ll explore the nervous system science behind emotional tears, how crying can shift your internal state, and why there is no shame in your body’s brilliant and built-in ways of processing emotion.
And finally: What if I’m too broken for any of this to work? Whether you’ve secretly believed you’re the exception to healing or worry you’ve tried everything, this part of the episode is a love letter to the part of you that feels beyond help and the truth that you’re not.
You’ll walk away with a deeper understanding of how boundaries, emotions, and old protective beliefs all tie back to your nervous system’s wisdom. And most importantly, how to meet yourself with grace, curiosity, and care when things feel hard. So go ahead and grab your softest blanket, pour something grounding, and settle in. I’m so glad you’re here.
Got a question for the Tenderoni Hotline? Send it to me at: podcast@beatrizalbina.com
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | This is feminist wellness, and I'm your host, nurse practitioner, somatics, and nervous system nerd, and life coach, Bea Victoria Albina. |
| 0:18.3 | I'll show you how to get unstuck, drop the anxiety, perfectionism, and |
| 0:21.8 | codependency so you can live from your beautiful heart. Welcome, my love. Let's get started. |
| 0:32.8 | Hello, hello, my love. I hope this finds you doing so well. Welcome to this week's Tenderoni hotline. |
| 0:39.7 | We've got a question coming in hot from Katie. She writes, I'm curious if you can speak to the |
| 0:45.0 | process of setting boundaries and then, one, not being respected, and two, a boundary being used |
| 0:50.9 | to end a relationship. Okay, let's start with boundaries that aren't respected. |
| 0:55.6 | When you set a boundary and someone doesn't honor it, I want to invite us to pause before assuming the |
| 1:02.5 | worst. Sometimes people genuinely don't understand what you're asking for, especially if they've |
| 1:08.6 | never set boundaries themselves or they've never |
| 1:11.3 | been on the receiving end of one, like in a way they recognized. So before you walk away from someone |
| 1:18.2 | who's generally been a good friend, that's the setting here, generally been a good friend, |
| 1:23.7 | someone loving, someone kind of get curious. Did they actually understand what I was saying? |
| 1:27.6 | Sometimes what feels like a boundary violation is actually a miscommunication. They might not have |
| 1:32.7 | the nervous system capacity yet to hear a boundary without their nervous system going into |
| 1:37.1 | panic mode and then just like actually not hearing you because they went a little dorsal. |
| 1:42.9 | Just for some background, Katie beautifully |
| 1:45.1 | laid out this whole story with a friend and she was overwhelmed in a conversation. Didn't have, |
| 1:50.5 | you know, the space to hold, to continue to hold space for like this long story they were telling |
| 1:55.2 | that was like intense emotional labor and they and Katie said that and then they sent this really |
| 1:59.9 | long voice note, like detailing it on and on and on |
| 2:03.5 | okay so here's what integrity could look like in this situation something like hey I said continuing the |
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