Ep #365: A Life with Default “Sorry”
Feminist Wellness
Béa Victoria Albina
4.9 • 1.1K Ratings
🗓️ 12 February 2026
⏱️ 22 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
#365: Have you ever noticed how often the word sorry slips out of your mouth before you’ve even decided whether you’ve done anything wrong?
Sorry for asking. Sorry for taking up space. Sorry for having a feeling. Sorry for existing. If that reflex feels familiar, this episode is for you.
This week, I explore why default sorry has nothing to do with politeness and everything to do with a nervous system that learned safety through shrinking. You’ll learn how the habit of saying sorry gets wired into the nervous system, why insight and willpower alone don’t make it stop, and what actually helps your body feel safe enough to take up space.
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | You know that feeling when someone asks you what you want and your mind goes completely blank? |
| 0:04.5 | Like there's nothing in there except white noise and the question, what do they want me to say? |
| 0:09.5 | That's what happens when you've spent so long outsourcing your sense of safety worth and belonging to other people that you've lost access to your own needs and desires. |
| 0:18.0 | When your nervous system learn that other people's comfort determines whether |
| 0:21.1 | you are safe. I'm Bealbina. I'm a family nurse practitioner, life coach, and somatic |
| 0:26.4 | experiencing practitioner, and I teach people how to stop these codependent and people pleasing |
| 0:31.2 | patterns through nervous system work. Here's what changes when you do this work in Anchored, |
| 0:35.7 | my six-month coaching program. You start to hear |
| 0:38.1 | yourself again. Not the voice that's performing or protecting or perfecting your actual voice. |
| 0:43.2 | The one that knows what you need, what matters to you, what you're willing to do, and what you're not. |
| 0:48.6 | You stop waking up already bracing for the day. Your body starts to feel like home instead of a |
| 0:53.4 | battleground. |
| 1:00.2 | You can disappoint someone and not spend the next 48 hours in a shame spiral trying to fix it. |
| 1:06.1 | Anchored is live weekly coaching with me, breathwork sessions, somatic and nervous system regulation practices, |
| 1:08.5 | and a community learning the same skills. |
| 1:11.8 | Beatricealbina.com slash anchored. |
| 1:30.9 | Join us now. This is feminist wellness, and I'm your host, nurse practitioner, somatics, and nervous system nerd, and life coach, Beia Victoria Albina. |
| 1:38.0 | I'll show you how to get unstuck, drop the anxiety, perfectionism, and codependency, so you can live from your beautiful heart. |
| 1:39.1 | Welcome, my love. |
| 1:40.1 | Let's get started. |
| 1:50.6 | Hello, hello, my love. I hope this finds you doing so well. So someone said something in a recent webinar of mine that landed in my body with like this thud. And it was that like quiet |
| 1:58.1 | thud of the truth that you feel, behind your sternum, right? |
... |
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