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93X Half-Assed Morning Show

"Stroke" and Seizure

93X Half-Assed Morning Show

93X | Cumulus Media Minneapolis | KXXR-FM

News, Comedy, Comedy Interviews, Music, Sports News

4.7972 Ratings

🗓️ 19 February 2026

⏱️ 153 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Originally Aired February 19, 2026: Pickle assault. How you get a DUI while sober. Everything you wanna know about getting "caught" masturbating.

Listen & subscribe to the show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or Amazon Music. For more, visit https://www.93x.com/half-assed-morning-show/
Follow the Half-Assed Morning Show:
Twitter/X: @93XHAMS
Facebook: @93XHAMS
Instagram: @93XHAMS
Email the show: HAMS93X@gmail.com 

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

Well, hello to all the wonderful podcasters out there.

0:02.5

Wherever in the world you're listening right now, we truly appreciate it. Dana here. Yeah, I'm a sports junkie. I'm a wing lover and, of course, a smart club member because I trust my home comfort to standard heating the air conditioning, and I really think you should too. Right now, it's HVAC mania, and these deals will help offset the cost when your brackets get busted. You can score a $45 coupon on a furnace tune-up, normally $148.

0:24.4

And no, it's not. These deals will help offset the cost when your brackets get busted. You can score a $45 coupon on a furnace tune-up, normally $148.

0:24.3

And no, it's never too late to show your furnace of love.

0:27.0

And if your system is about to crash out like a five-seat against a 12, now's the time

0:31.0

to replace it on your schedule with 0% financing from standard heating and air conditioning.

0:36.1

Go to standard heating.com and mention 93X.

0:38.8

Standard heating and air conditioning, providing the comfort you deserve since 1930.

0:43.0

The 93X half-assed morning show.

0:46.7

Ninety three.

0:48.7

Air. What you're looking here.

1:06.9

Winter has made a return.

1:10.4

Stupid.

1:12.3

I was so pumped.

1:13.9

I was getting outside every single day.

1:15.7

I was going to the library every day.

1:17.9

I had no, wait a minute.

1:19.1

That's what I always do.

1:20.3

When the weather improves, when the weather gets nice, I take my ass to the library.

1:26.1

I'm sorry, I should add some context. The library is within walking distance, so I'm taking a nice little stroll to the library. Gosh, what's the last time you went to the library? A couple weeks ago. And you guys give me crap for going to the library. I think the library's cool. I don't give you crap for going to the library.

1:46.5

I do get on your case for going to the library.

1:47.3

Oh, yeah.

...

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