"Stroke" and Seizure
93X Half-Assed Morning Show
93X | Cumulus Media Minneapolis | KXXR-FM
4.7 • 972 Ratings
🗓️ 19 February 2026
⏱️ 153 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
Originally Aired February 19, 2026: Pickle assault. How you get a DUI while sober. Everything you wanna know about getting "caught" masturbating.
Listen & subscribe to the show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or Amazon Music. For more, visit https://www.93x.com/half-assed-morning-show/
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | Well, hello to all the wonderful podcasters out there. |
| 0:02.5 | Wherever in the world you're listening right now, we truly appreciate it. Dana here. Yeah, I'm a sports junkie. I'm a wing lover and, of course, a smart club member because I trust my home comfort to standard heating the air conditioning, and I really think you should too. Right now, it's HVAC mania, and these deals will help offset the cost when your brackets get busted. You can score a $45 coupon on a furnace tune-up, normally $148. |
| 0:24.4 | And no, it's not. These deals will help offset the cost when your brackets get busted. You can score a $45 coupon on a furnace tune-up, normally $148. |
| 0:24.3 | And no, it's never too late to show your furnace of love. |
| 0:27.0 | And if your system is about to crash out like a five-seat against a 12, now's the time |
| 0:31.0 | to replace it on your schedule with 0% financing from standard heating and air conditioning. |
| 0:36.1 | Go to standard heating.com and mention 93X. |
| 0:38.8 | Standard heating and air conditioning, providing the comfort you deserve since 1930. |
| 0:43.0 | The 93X half-assed morning show. |
| 0:46.7 | Ninety three. |
| 0:48.7 | Air. What you're looking here. |
| 1:06.9 | Winter has made a return. |
| 1:10.4 | Stupid. |
| 1:12.3 | I was so pumped. |
| 1:13.9 | I was getting outside every single day. |
| 1:15.7 | I was going to the library every day. |
| 1:17.9 | I had no, wait a minute. |
| 1:19.1 | That's what I always do. |
| 1:20.3 | When the weather improves, when the weather gets nice, I take my ass to the library. |
| 1:26.1 | I'm sorry, I should add some context. The library is within walking distance, so I'm taking a nice little stroll to the library. Gosh, what's the last time you went to the library? A couple weeks ago. And you guys give me crap for going to the library. I think the library's cool. I don't give you crap for going to the library. |
| 1:46.5 | I do get on your case for going to the library. |
| 1:47.3 | Oh, yeah. |
... |
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