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Ask Iliza Anything

Stage A Home Invasion

Ask Iliza Anything

Ask Iliza Anything

Comedy

4.73.4K Ratings

🗓️ 30 November 2022

⏱️ 60 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Iliza deals with the stresses of listeners' living situations, including a younger sibling feeling dismissed and a daughter whose mother's views have regressed.

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

Ask me! Ask a laser anything it's time to ask! Ask me on your question! Leave them in the Instagram, comment section! Leave them on your Twitter or leave them on your Facebook! We'll see them, we'll read them! Then we'll give you answers! You know it! I've got it! I've got the answers! The answers! You asked me! Ask me your image!

0:30.0

So the question on everybody's mind, did you have an incredible Thanksgiving? Emily?

0:41.4

Me! I thought you were saying like the question for you is that it was fine. I'm referring to myself as you versus I.

0:49.6

I just thought it was like everyone's question is like did you? It's even more self-involved like did you speaking to me referring to me in the second person? It was your baby's first Thanksgiving so that's a pretty big deal.

1:05.6

Kind of. I don't think of where she was during it. I don't remember who's around. I was holding her or someone was holding her or she was sleeping. I don't know. There was or the pen.

1:16.4

This is my first Thanksgiving with a child and it just goes by so fast and at the end we're like why? What? I'm so tired and it's like yeah.

1:26.4

Even though people took turns holding the baby, like it's still like my daughter did a great job and then this is very exciting. The next day because you know you're a baby,

1:35.6

much like an animal, like you're on the ground level of all that energy, you have a lot of stimulation. She slept for 13 hours.

1:44.4

Dio. Loco a bowl of oatmeal two strawberries drank nine ounces of milk and went back to bed for a nap.

1:51.4

When she was asleep for 13 hours, were you going in and like poking her like she's still alive. I like to go in and look something's up and everyone's always like leave her alone. It's like I got a look at her sometimes I go in like paranormal activity and I just stand over her crib and I just stare.

2:07.4

No one told the baby babies don't know how to sleep so their little arms are like under that they sleep in the weirdest positions.

2:13.4

It was great how was your Thanksgiving. It was good it was.

2:17.4

It was good I ate the food I made those pecan pie martinis for my family.

2:22.4

And then it's still sound so atrocious. There's no way everybody drank half to be nice and they were like this is so much milk.

2:30.4

Well, I only know wasn't any milk it was literally just three different alcohols mixed together. It was like a whipped cinnamon vodka or something.

2:40.4

It was bourbon from Chata and some cocoa to crème crème to cocoa all mixed together and then you do a rim of caramel and crushed pecans.

2:53.4

And then you put a little scoop of cool whip and one full pecan resting on the pillow of cool.

3:00.4

How many did you have everybody had one everybody had one because it was such an ordeal I bought a shaker I bought martini glasses.

3:07.4

I brought all that over but that I made the thing that made three servings I poured everybody a cup.

3:12.4

Wow we all drank one and then everybody was like oh boy.

3:15.4

That's a lot. I mean if you're like I got wasted off pecan.

3:19.4

I mean I'm not a T. It was five ounces of alcohol per person with no nothing else in it.

...

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