The following podcast is a deer media production.

Welcome to the Absolutely Not podcast, where we do the most in the least at the same damn time.

I'm your host Heather McMahon.

Hello ladies and gentlemen and welcome to another episode of the Absolutely Not podcast.

I'm your host Heather McMahon. I'm sounding really sultry and sensual today, but it's Monday,

morning when I'm recording this and there's nothing sexy or sultry about the fact that I took

two melatonin and an allergy pill at 9.30 last night after pressure washing the deck and the pollen

is exphyxiating me. But other than that, we're good, we're great, we're richly blessed.

I want you to know I have a beautiful birthday bouquet that is still thriving here in my office,

my room smells like lilies and pianies. Although lilies are the flower of death, so to my deer husband

who did give me a fairly absorbent amount of lilies and a bouquet, the message is clear. I see

and understand what you're saying. This is a threat and I will be contacting my attorney immediately.

Who is my sister? Who loves Jeff way more than me? So, probably going to have to seek

outside legal counsel as well. So good morning, having a cup of coffee started really thriving

on some college and protein. Guys, I've been in a little bit of a morning pickle if you will.

So, you know, got the hormone shit going on, got the thyroid stuff going on and an assortment

of medications trying to really be good. I mean, you guys see me out after the shows and I have

a glass of wine and everyone's like, she's fucking raging. I don't. I have not tied one on if you will

in quite some time. We're really been taking care of myself. Okay, been getting that sleep doing

the best I can under the insanely stressful and physically taxing conditions that I'm under,

which is I never sit down, never stop. It's got to keep going. Again, you'd think I was thinner.

But I wake up in the morning and I'm fucking starving. I'm talking like a feral cat

...