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2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer

Somethings Burning And It's Bert's Bus | 2 Bears, 1 Cave

2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer

2 Bears 1 Cave

Society & Culture, Comedy

4.723.6K Ratings

🗓️ 6 April 2026

⏱️ 75 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

The End is Ari's new storytelling show! It's almost here! Premieres April 16 on https://theend.ymhstudios.com/ . Presale pricing only available for a short time! You get 7 full, hour long episodes of completely unfiltered stories for $24.99. Afterwards, the price will increase so get it now! SPONSORS: - Protect your family with life insurance from Ethos. Get up to $3 million in coverage in as little as 10 minutes at https://ethos.com/BEARS . Application times may vary. Rates may vary. - Get 10% off your first month of BlueChew Gold with code BEARS. https://bluechew.com - Sign up for your one-dollar-per-month trial and start selling today at https://shopify.com/bears - Brought to you by BetterHelp. When life feels overwhelming, therapy can help. Sign up and get 10% off at https://BetterHelp.com/bears. - Get up to 60% off at https://Babbel.com/BEARS. - Join the over 14 million all-time customers who have already saved and invested over $27 billion dollars with Acorns. Head to https://acorns.com/bears or download the Acorns app to get started. Bert Kreischer and Tom Segura are back with a wild new episode of 2 Bears, 1 Cave, and this one has everything: a terrifying tour bus fire, Bert’s ongoing recovery from blood clots, near-death anxiety, celebrity gossip, and a heated defense of napping. Bert breaks down the shocking story of how his bus blew a tire outside Fargo, was left behind overnight, and then burst into flames just hours later — a moment that may have saved everyone on board. He and Tom unpack how close the situation really was, what Bert lost in the fire, and why he’s still obsessing over the hats. The Bears also dive into Bert’s fear of flying, life on blood thinners, what it means to face mortality without booze, and the bizarre mental spiral that comes with multiple near-death experiences in a matter of months. From there, the conversation takes its usual chaotic turn into Club Shay Shay, the “lost everything and got it back” misunderstanding, the Jeffrey Epstein email chatter, Chappell Roan backlash, and whether Jon Bernthal is dead wrong about naps. They also talk about the upcoming 2 Bears 5K in Pasadena on May 9, Bert’s current fitness goals, and whether he can break 30 minutes in the race. 2 Bears, 1 Cave Ep. 326 https://tomsegura.com/tour https://www.bertbertbert.com/tour https://store.ymhstudios.com Chapters 00:00:00 - Intro 00:01:20 - Bert's Bus Burned Down 00:14:47 - Losing Everything 00:18:19 - A Really Cool Gift 00:20:40 - Death Is A Cruel Mistress 00:34:34 - Air Canada Accident + Other Aviation Disasters 00:43:10 - Chappell Roan 00:50:28 - Beefing With Jon Bernthal About Naps 00:56:34 - 2 Bears 5K 01:00:20 - New Bus & Doing Stand-Up Again 01:07:33 - Epstein, Fluffy, & KREISCHER Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0

100%

0:02.0

I'm lowering my compression socks.

0:07.0

All right.

0:09.0

Welcome to another episode of Two Bears One Cave as Bert removes his compression socks.

0:15.0

I'm an old man now, Tom.

0:17.0

Yeah.

0:18.0

I keep saying I'm a snowman in March.

0:19.0

What does that mean?

0:20.0

I'm dying. Oh, oh.

0:21.6

Hey, you've never looked better.

0:22.8

God's taking swings at me.

0:24.2

Dyes looking good on you, man.

0:26.2

Death looks good on me.

0:27.4

Yeah.

0:27.8

I was on stage last night in Ottawa.

0:31.2

Ottawa.

0:32.4

And I was like, my life is unrecognizable from three months ago.

0:36.7

I had two dogs three months ago. My kids were in L.A. I had no blood clots. I had a bus. I had all the shit

0:46.6

going on. And then this woman just goes, what about your rosacea? I was like, thanks lady.

0:53.6

Thanks, lady. Well, we should, we should like discuss it because God knows you're going to talk about it incessantly. I haven't talked about it yet. I know, but this is the best. I don't really do a podcast this much anymore. Well, this is the best thing. It's the best life to live don't do it too much it's really i gotta be

1:10.9

honest with you cutting back was the my stand-ups better ticket sales are better like i think i think

1:16.7

people were like i just want to see you on stage enough um no but let's talk about it for real because

...

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