Should you tell your kids about your marriage problems?
Lights On with Carl Lentz
B-Side
4.8 • 797 Ratings
🗓️ 25 March 2026
⏱️ 55 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
Want to submit questions? Email us at hello@carlandlaura.com
In this raw episode of Lights On, Carl and Laura dive into the difficult questions surrounding marital betrayal, emotional boundaries, and the road to healing. Should you tell your children about your marital struggles? Why do women cheat, and is the husband ever to blame? What actually defines an emotional affair, and how do you escape the "validation trap" before it destroys everything?
Drawing from their own journey through public betrayal and 23 years of marriage, Carl and Laura explore why "image protection" is often the greatest enemy of true healing. They challenge the societal narratives that make some affairs seem "understandable" while others are "predatory," and they expose the uncomfortable truth about why men and women often seek intimacy outside their marriage.
Whether you're a betrayed spouse trying to make sense of the chaos, or a partner realizing you’ve been "lonely together" for far too long, this episode offers a roadmap back to connection. Laura opens up about the power of self-worth that isn't dependent on a spouse's validation, and Carl delivers a hard truth for anyone trying to blamesharing their way out of a broken vow: atonement must come before explanation.
From the "nose-to-nose" challenge that exposes the distance between you, to the daily affirmations that rewire your brain for confidence, to the "sliding door moments" where affairs actually begin—this episode is for any couple ready to stop protecting a fake image and start building a real legacy.
Follow Carl at: https://www.instagram.com/carllentz/
Follow Laura at: https://www.instagram.com/lauralentz/
Supported by God Behind Bars https://godbehindbars.com
Supported by Plana https://plana.org/
CHAPTERS:
00:00 Intro
01:15 Why Doesn't Laura Speak More?
03:08 Should We Tell Our Children About Marital Struggles?
09:56 God Behind Bars Partnership
10:29 Why Do Women Cheat?
14:15 The Brain’s Search for Control After Betrayal
20:49 The Validation Trap: Why Affairs Feel Like a Dream
23:08 Owning Your Own Validation
28:27 Affirmations: Rewiring Your Brain for Self-Worth
32:57 Atonement vs. Blamesharing
34:52 Society’s Narrative on Infidelity
37:44 Plana Partnership
38:18 Defining Emotional Affairs
41:11 The Danger of Being "Lonely Together"
46:54 How Well Do You Know Your Partner?
47:58 Closing and How to Contact Us
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | This podcast is sponsored by Better Help. March includes International Women's Day. It's a moment to celebrate the strength of women and all that they carry at work, in relationships, in families, and the many roles they hold every single day. Between caring for others and all the unseen roles that they hold that often we don't know about, the mental |
| 0:21.7 | health and well-being of very important people can get overlooked. Therapy is such a powerful way |
| 0:27.4 | to offer somebody a space to take care of themselves in the way they deserve. If you take even a |
| 0:32.7 | moment today, just to consider the role a woman has had in your life that has made you better and left a lasting impact on you, it makes you instantly grateful. |
| 0:42.4 | I'm blessed to wake up every day and see my wife, Laura, who is easily the most important person to me and what she carries as a woman in this world is inspiring to me. |
| 0:52.1 | And if there's a woman you love in your life that is yet to experience the |
| 0:55.1 | balance, the support, the help that therapy can provide, this is a great time to point them to |
| 1:00.2 | BetterHelp. BetterHelp has over 30,000 therapists, and it remains the world's largest online |
| 1:06.1 | therapy platform, and they have served over 6 million people globally. And with an average rating of 4.9 out of 5, |
| 1:13.4 | there are over 1.7 million people who can agree that BetterHelp is a perfect resource to help |
| 1:19.8 | people find support. One thing is for certain, your mental health matters. So find support |
| 1:26.5 | and you can even feel lighter through therapy. |
| 1:29.3 | So sign up and get 10% off at betterhelp.com slash lights on. That's BetterHelp, |
| 1:37.8 | H-E-L-P slash lights on. Explore what options might work for you today. |
| 1:52.2 | This podcast is sponsored by Better Help. March includes International Women's Day. |
| 1:57.8 | It's a moment to celebrate the strength of women and all that they carry at work in relationships, |
| 2:01.2 | in families, in the many roles they hold every single day. |
| 2:06.6 | Between caring for others and all the unseen roles that they hold that often we don't know about, |
| 2:10.8 | the mental health and well-being of very important people can get overlooked. |
| 2:16.6 | Therapy is such a powerful way to offer somebody a space to take care of themselves in the way they deserve. |
| 2:18.6 | If you take even a moment today, just to consider the role a woman has had in your life that has made you better and left a |
| 2:24.4 | lasting impact on you, it makes you instantly grateful. I'm blessed to wake up every day and see my |
... |
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