Welcome back to the Look and Sound of Leadership, an ongoing series of

executive coaching tips designed to help you be perceived in the workplace

the way you want to be perceived.

I'm Tom Henschel, your executive coach,

and today we're talking about self-knowledge as leadership.

Before I began coaching Mark, I spoke to his boss, Kendra.

She was clearly his fan.

Besides authorizing his coaching, she'd increased his responsibilities, and she was positioning him for a promotion.

While talking about things she'd like Mark to do better, she said, you know I always feel like

I'm chasing him for one particular set of reports. Every week during our one-in-one meeting I ask

about it and every week he says he'll forward it to me. Sometimes he does, but sometimes

he doesn't. I'd like him to be better at that. And then with some frustration she said,

you know Mark's a smart guy, wouldn't you think after all this time he'd get the message?

When I shared Kendra's feedback with Mark he'd get the message?

When I shared Kendra's feedback with Mark, at first he was defensive, but then exasperated

he said, well, why isn't she ever told me this. I found it fascinating that Kendra and Mark got to almost

the exact same place in their thinking about each other. Kendra's question,

wouldn't you think after all this time he'd get the message, and Mark's question, why hasn't she ever told me, are in essence the same question.

When people act differently from the behavior the same question.

When people act differently from the behavior we want, quote, we conclude that these differences

in individual behavior are but temporary manifestations of madness, badness, stupidity, or sickness.

Our Pygmalion project, then, is to make all those near us just like us."

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