Rewriting Your Love Blueprint: 3 Exercises to Break Old Relationship Patterns

The Angry Therapist Podcast

John Kim

Health & Fitness, Mental Health

4.6 • 1.1K Ratings

🗓️ 30 March 2026

⏱️ 24 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

John explores how many of us are loving from a definition we never consciously chose. From family dynamics to heartbreak and old emotional imprints, he breaks down how our love blueprint gets formed and why it keeps pulling us into familiar patterns. He also shares three practical homework exercises to help you uncover your current definition of love, identify your relationship patterns, and separate real chemistry from emotional familiarity. If you keep ending up in the same relationship with a different face, this episode is for you. 🎙️ Host Links: Pre order my new book, Love Hard On Purpose. Toss the blueprints. Build something honest. https://a.co/d/031PzkW4 📘 Read John’s book in progress Sh*t Your Therapist Would Never Tell You on John’s SubStack ⁠HERE⁠ If you’re ready for deeper work, the Secure Self course is available HERE Order John's new book, Break Up. On Purpose,⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Follow John on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Find out more about John⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0	Now, are all the traitors present?
0:02.0	Let's get started, shall we?
0:04.0	From rags to riches.
0:06.0	I'm so sick of this.
0:07.0	Working like a dog and being treated worse.
0:09.0	Yorkshire to New York.
0:10.0	Or climbers, you and me.
0:12.0	A life dedicated to revenge.
0:14.0	Let's make this an occasion to remember.
0:17.0	A Woman of Substance on Channel 4. Stream now.
0:20.0	Most of you are not bad at relationships.
0:25.1	You're not broken.
0:26.4	You're not too much or not enough.
0:28.5	You're just building your love life on a definition that was never yours.
0:42.6	My My name is John Kim. You're listening to the Angry Therapist podcast where we work on ourselves just enough so we don't lose our friends.
0:50.1	Isn't that sad?
0:51.3	It's sad, but it's really true.
0:53.8	And I got to say, as someone who puts love in
0:57.8	relationships and my partner above friendships, and by the way, this is not, I'm not saying that
1:02.8	it's healthy. It's just my pattern because I used to believe friends were extra. And now I believe
1:08.5	that's not true. I believe that friends are, I mean, I don't know if they're
1:12.3	just as important. I want to say they're just as important because that's what I want to believe.
	...

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