Therapy Thursdays | Is This Love, Fear, or the Life You’ve Settled For?

The Angry Therapist Podcast

John Kim

Health & Fitness, Mental Health

4.6 • 1.1K Ratings

🗓️ 26 March 2026

⏱️ 21 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

In this episode of Therapy Thursdays, John answers listener questions about love, fear, disconnection, self-worth, and the hard decisions people face when relationships no longer feel clear. He explores whether situationships can actually work, what happens when intimacy disappears in a long-term marriage, and how to tell if you are staying because of love or simply because fear is keeping you stuck. He also unpacks attraction in romantic relationships, what it means to like yourself, how to regulate your nervous system, and how to know whether you are making the right decision in life when everything feels uncertain. This episode is for anyone questioning their relationship, struggling to reconnect, or trying to trust themselves enough to choose what is true. 🎙️ Host Links: Pre order my new book, Love Hard On Purpose. Toss the blueprints. Build something honest. https://a.co/d/031PzkW4 📘 Read John’s book in progress Sh*t Your Therapist Would Never Tell You on John’s SubStack ⁠HERE⁠ If you’re ready for deeper work, the Secure Self course is available HERE Order John's new book, Break Up. On Purpose,⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Follow John on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Find out more about John⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Transcript

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0:45.3	Things you would never bring up in therapy, you could bring up here. Can situationships be sustained with good communication and boundaries?
0:51.3	A situation ship is a relationship that exists somewhere between friendship and commitment emotionally involved,
1:00.0	maybe even physically intimate, but without clear boundaries, direction, right?
1:06.0	And so it's when two people act like they're together, they text every day, they share moments, maybe even
1:11.9	meet family members, but they avoid actually calling it a relationship. It's connection
1:17.4	without commitment. It's comfort without clarity. So in therapy terms, it often lives
1:23.9	in the gray where attachment and avoidance dance, right?
1:28.3	One or both people get the emotional hit without the closeness of vulnerability.
1:36.3	It's almost like being with someone just to be with that person, but not really truly being with that person, if that makes sense, right?
1:45.6	And the lack of structure can create anxiety, confusion, and unmet needs.
1:50.6	Basically, in short, a situation is a relationship without the accountability of one.
1:54.7	So your question is kind of, it doesn't make sense because you can't be in a situation ship and have clear boundaries and communication because by definition, the situation ship means that there isn't clarity, right?
2:13.0	So anyway, throw away the word situation ship and create something that is honest to you with clear communication and boundaries because you deserve that.
2:21.8	Make sure you let the person know where you're at, what you need, or else it will default to something abstract and be another situation.
2:31.1	How do I fall in love with my husband again after a decade of disconnection and no intimacy?
	...

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