Return of Burnt My Grundle

Absolutely Not

Dear Media

Callin, Humor, Aperol, Arts, Comedian, Entertainment, Advice, Personal572339, Funny, Instagram, Hotline, Female, Comedy, Heathermcmahon

4.9 • 13.6K Ratings

🗓️ 22 October 2025

⏱️ 55 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

This week, we’re taking it back to one of the most iconic episodes in Absolutely Not history: Burnt My Grundle. In this replay, Heather relives the madness of a piping hot Starbucks to the lap, and goes through some of the most chaotic voicemails. If you’re new here, buckle up. If you’re an OG, you already know this one is a classic.

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Transcript

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0:00.0	The following podcast is a Dear Media production.
0:08.3	Welcome to the Absolutely Not podcast, where we do the most and the least at this same damn time.
0:14.6	I'm your host, Heather McMahon.
0:24.2	Hello, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to another episode of the absolutely
0:27.9	not podcast.
0:29.1	I'm your host, Heather McMahon.
0:30.5	How are you?
0:31.9	I'll tell you how I am, recuperating from food poisoning.
0:36.5	That's where I'm at. It has been a rough 24 hours. I appreciate
0:40.1	your patience this week. I got home, got back in the saddle, if you will, and immediately had
0:46.3	to get off the saddle because I was going to vomit everywhere. It doesn't matter if you're 38 or 8
0:51.5	years old. Whenever I vomit, I cry and want my mother.
0:55.3	And that's where we have been the last 24 hours.
0:58.5	So while we're recuperating, I figured I would take us back down memory lane and replay an
1:03.1	oldie but a goody, burnt grundle.
1:05.7	It's one of my most famous episodes.
1:07.9	And, you know, it touches on the pain that I've been through after getting
1:12.7	burned by a Starbucks drink on the grundles. Because right now, my grundle burns from the amount
1:18.1	I have sat on the toilet as I've had stuff coming, coming out both ends, if you will.
1:23.3	So I just figured we'd tie it all up with a nice little bow. You know, art imitates life. Life imitates art.
1:28.5	This is where I'm at right now in this very moment.
1:31.0	I'm unwell, bitch.
	...

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